


Blood Bound

by scarletcougar



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bi-Curiosity, Bisexuality, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gay Sex, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Romance, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy, Urban Fantasy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:05:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletcougar/pseuds/scarletcougar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A what if / what next story after City of Lost Souls. The focus is on Alec and Simon and the messes they get into, how they resolve them, how they learn to use their gifts (including the new ones acquired through circumstance). </p><p>Alec thought he would never live as long as those he cared about.<br/>Simon thought he would out live all those he cared about.<br/>Who knew how wrong they could be?</p><p>Post City of Lost Souls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Threefold

Alec stood on the rubble cluttered platform of the unfinished and abandoned City Hall subway station. The silencing rune on his skin quieted the creaking of his leathers. Stealth would have been wise at the moment, but wisdom was lost in the gap between misery and fury. He blocked out the images and thoughts of Magnus and what last happened between them but moments ago and openly stalked towards the stairs.

He hadn’t brought his usual collection of Hunting gear, his bow and quiver of arrows. So, he drew his only other weapon, a seraph blade the length of his forearm, and named it into glowing life. _Amriel._ It will have to suffice for his vengeance. _Camille will die for this._ He emerged from the stairs into the mezzanine of the ruins of the old City Hall. Dust floated in moats in the air. The skylight windows were coated in years of bird shit, but still let in clouded winter light. His gaze swept the area. _Where are you?_ The terrible break-up he had had with Magnus and his almost blinding fury for Camille’s betrayal muddled his usually keen senses, leaving with him hollow and twisting his gut with both shame and self-loathing. Had he not been so distracted by his emotions, he might have recognized off-putting sense he should have had for this area, the not-rightness for what he would usually get from being here with Camille. _I was such a fool, a childish and immature fool, for seeking her council about Magnus._ His jaw clenched.

A light giggle behind him. He whirled around to face it. The shadows in every corner were thick and obscured too much; not even the light of his seraph blade could not penetrate them. “Camille?” he called.

Another giggle as a thin girl of fourteen stepped from one of those cloying shadows. “I know you. I’ve seen you at the concert,” she said. She had her long curly blond hair and gave a wicked little grin, flashing fangs.

Alec’s Shadowhunter senses finally kicked in. _Vampire._ It was obvious now. Blood coated her face like a bandit’s bandana. Her words hung in the air with a static charge of danger. Blood, the deep red of vampiric blood instead of the bright scarlet of human blood, stained the girl’s hands and dress. “You are looking for Camille,” she stated. Who else would Alec be seeking here but that manipulative elder vampire? **This** was where Camille had been hiding out, in this abandoned building with its fallen walls and rusting scaffolding, forgotten by the city. “She’s gone,” the girl chimed.

“Gone?” Alec sputtered, “What do you mean she’s gone?!”

“You know vampire laws? Whoever kills the head of a clan becomes its leader. Oh, Camille **was** the New York clan’s leader.” _Maureen. Yes, that was her name_ , Alec remembered finally. She smiled like a laughing child and took a swaying step towards him as if she could be seductive. However, as he wasn’t into girls, and certainly not children, it just looked clumsy.

“S-someone killed her?” It seemed impossible. Camille was so careful, so calculating, three-hundred or so years old, and very powerful… or so Alec thought. His anger fizzled without its target, leaving him empty but for the broken shards of his mistakes.

“Not just _someone_ , silly.” Maureen tittered with delight. “It was me! I did it!”

He recalled the reports from the Praetoriate and from Jordan. Sometimes having an eidetic memory was not helpful, as it undermined his courage. _Maureen, paving a path of blood in the streets of New York, had killed a Praetor-trained werewolf. They were supposed to be among the best at finding the stray werewolves and vampires and getting them help, teaching them control. This victim of hers had been snapped like fragile flower stems, bitten in dozens of places, had his throat ripped open. The werewolf had died slowly of blood loss and shock._ Alec swallowed and suddenly wished Jace was with him. But Jace was still at the Institute, unable to go out. Alec reached for the phone in his pocket.

Maureen moved too fast for Alec with his own rune enhanced speed. She was a pale blur, slamming his back against the wall. The impact bruised his shoulder blades right through his armored leather jacket. Alec did not want to fight with her. He knew he was out of his league. He needed a team. That was no longer an option. _I should have bolted the second he saw her._ He corrected that thought. _With her speed,. I would never have made it to safety to call for help._ Images of the young Praetor werewolf she had killed, had left broken and bleeding to death, flashed in his mind’s eye. _This is going to be my fate, isn’t it?_ He had not left on good words, or the right words, with anyone. Now he might never get the chance to make thing right. He drew on all his training, all the power in the angelic runes upon his body, even on the scraps of magic he had learned from Magnus.

There were precious few moments in this frantic fight. Alec found shelter enough to crouch hidden and catch a breath, but not long enough to dig out his phone. It was too brief a pause. After he had been bitten, enough to be almost dizzy from the strange poison of Maureen’s fangs, he remembered how broken he had been knowing he had no chance with Jace. _He had been reckless and nearly killed by a demon when he took it head on instead of from a distance with his bow. That had been early in Jace and Clary’s relationship. His ribs had been almost crushed and the demonic poison had been too strong for any of the healing methods of the Institute. Magnus had yanked him from the edge of death, heart-broken, humiliated and miserable._ With a crack, his sword _Amriel_ went skittering from his now numb and throbbing fingers.

He tried to ignore Maureen’s sing-song taunts. He inched painfully along a narrow space between wall and rubble, leaving a blood trail in his wake. Pain shot through his chest when he breathed. Darkness sucked him into recent memory a moment, threatening full unconsciousness. The sounds around him muffled as if he were under water.

_“I love you, but it changes nothing. We are still done.” Magnus’ voice seemed sad but resolute._

_“But it was ONE mistake,” Alec had pleaded, “Please, give me a chance.”_

_“No. You didn’t trust me. You never have. You tried to shorten my life, Alexander.”_

Alec’s breaths came short, choking on grief and blood. Small white hands snaked through the other side of the narrow gap and tore him from his hiding spot.

He tried to banter back, brashly yelling at her as if he were Jace. Several of his rune marks had faded, used up in his attempts to stay alive. He finally managed to wedge himself into a nook and pull his phone free. His fingers were slick and he couldn’t see through his blurring vision. He hit the screen for speed dial and prayed someone, anyone, answered. When there was a click of response, he didn’t wait to hear who it was. “Maureen killed Camille. I’m alone. I’m… not gonna make it. I’m… scared,” he whispered shakily.

The phone was yanked away. Maureen smiled menacingly, as she put the phone to her ear, “Hello friend of the Nephilim. You are much too late for him. But what fun! This one will have an audience, even if it is only audio. Listen well, friend of the Nephilim. I will break him. His bones will not hold against me. I will bite him and bleed him. I might even drink him, but I will not turn him. Werewolves and Nephilim cannot be trusted in the clan. _My_ clan now.” She giggled. Her laughter ended when Alec started to yell, His words cut off sharply when her claws pierced his gut. “Here, Nephilim. I will give you a chance to say some last words.”

For a second, he didn’t know what to say. An escape was hopeless. This would be his last chance to change his last words to people he had hurt. “Jace, _parabattai_ , I’m sorry. Izzy… Simon… Clary…” He choked trying to take in long enough of a breath to speak. “Stay strong and true. Magnus… Magnus, I’m sorry… I love you…”

Maureen rolled her eyes, and then narrowed them. “ **Simon** ,” she snarled. She set the phone down. “Now I break you and silence you, Nephilim.” For the third time this year, Alec was broken. It was almost a relief as the pain washed away the other two.

A white-knuckled grip held phone to ear, listening to Alec’s demise. Through the line, screams were heard. Bones cracking. The sick thudding splat of meat on concrete. Another scream that gurgled at the end. Then wet, shaking, shallow breathing. “Heehee. That was fun. Tata!” Maureen’s voice faded as she skipped away.


	2. Blood & Venom

Magnus had to clench his teeth very hard to try to steady himself. He held the phone to his ear with a shaking hand, listening to every breath Alec took while he frantically summoned up the energy to conjure a portal. To where though? He hesitated at the last rune, the destination. He hadn’t left Alec far. Camille. Alec spoke of Camille. Of course. He would seek to vent his pride and shame on her. He drew in the last run to the location he knew was Camille’s hideout. He was ready with some very nasty offensive and defensive spells in case Maureen jumped out at him. But she did not. Of course she wouldn’t. Who would ever think anyone was close enough or able to come fast enough for Alec? Magnus hoped he wasn’t too late.

“Alexander!” He called and listened, walking the area and trying to stay calm despite the smears of bright and dark red in various places all over. “Alex!” Still no reply. “ALEC! Please!” Something clicked or clattered just a little. Magnus dashed towards the sounds and skidded to a wide-eyed halt. His breath caught at the sight. The praetor werewolf was the start of an MO for Maureen apparently. Alec lay similarly broken. Bones had been shattered, some stuck through the skin of his arms and collar. His jacket and shirt clawed through like the armor had been thin cotton. Bites ripped open his wrists. His face… his jaw clearly broken and dislocated… was turning blue black bruise colors. Maureen had claws into his forced open mouth. Did she rip out his tongue? Or claw his throat from the inside out? Blood pooled generously from so many fang punctures. The poison she must have left in Alec…

Magnus knelt and turned Alec a little. Blood pulsed out the part of his throat Maureen had bitten through and mangled. Magnus slammed his hand over it to stave the leak. But he had only two hands and blood leaked from too many places. “Alec… no… Alec…” He spent a large amount more magic, pouring in his very life force to try to heal Alec and sustain him, hopefully long enough for him to make another portal. He turned away and used the last of everything he had to force a portal into the heart of the Institute, directly into the infirmary. Laws be damned. He still loved Alec and did not wish this to be the way things ended. He was grateful for the White Book’s spells that taught him how to use the natural energies within and around him instead of demonic forces. He had nothing to offer demons at the moment.

Magus stepped through the portal, Alec limp in his arms.

A silent alarm alerted all shadowhunters within the Institute of the unwarranted intrusion.

Magnus lowered Alec onto a bed and watched the white sheets turn red. His healing magic wasn’t going to be enough. He was almost tapped out. Endurance, the last of the battle runes, faded from Alec’s skin. The door to the infirmary burst open. Clary and Isabelle rushed in, seraph blades drawn. Jace pushed past them, “ALEC!” Isabelle dropped her blade when Jace yelled, her hand covering her mouth to try to smother and strangled outcry at the sight on the bed of her brother. She shook her head and back up, into Simon. She turned, unable to look at yet another brother dead before her. Simon murmured reassuringly to her that he wasn’t dead. He left out the word yet, but sensed it was immanent unless they could do something drastic and fast.

Clary put blade away and brandished her stele instead. She bound forward around Jace and started to draw _iratze_ ’s on Alec. After the third one was absorbed and exhausted with little change, she stopped. Jace still could not control the fire inside him, especially now under this distress. He had felt Alec hover near death moments before the portal opened. He wanted to take Alec’s hand as Alec had often taken his, but he feared burning him. He clenched his fist instead and stood close to Clary. “I don’t know what else to do,” she spoke up at him.

They all looked to Magnus who usually saved lives miraculously. Magic still coiled in wisps down his blood soaked arms towards Alec. He was doing everything he already could. He was shaking with the effort, not a little shock.

Isabelle scrambled away from Simon for medical supplies. Her and Clary cut away Alec’s clothing to see the true extent of the wounds and then stepped back. What wasn’t clawed, gashed or broken? Where wasn’t there a bite mark and rent flesh? It was hopeless. Alec had started to shiver, his chest shuddering with desperate attempts to breathe.

“I think I can save him,” Simon said. They had only just discovered he could enter the Institute this morning and his words brought hope… and confusion. “Lilith said the bite of a Daylighter could revive or sustain the dead or dying and … my blood could bring one back. It was what she wanted me for… to bring back Sebastian.”

Jace countered, “But there was a whole slew of demonic magic involved too, and my blood.”

“Well, Izzy and I discovered that wherever I bite, I can lick and heal it from bleeding. Why don’t we start there and debate what to do next when we know he won’t just bleed out on us.” Simon took a daring step forward.

“Do it,” demanded Izzy. Magnus nodded agreement and Jace stepped back again to give Simon room.

Simon rested his hand on Alec’s chest then yanked it back. He had felt bones that should not shift… shift. He would have to be VERY careful. He could smell the blood, sense its dwindling flow. First he had to stop the worst bleeding wounds, throat and wrists. He leaned over Alec and tried to match his fangs to each bite, as he listened to Magnus stumble through an explanation of what Maureen did. Simon pulled away from the first bite and spat the nasty taste Maureen left behind. He told himself he didn’t have to swallow. So he didn’t. Besides, Alec could not afford to lose any more blood. He bit down and licked, bit and licked several times at Alec’s throat. He wanted to vomit after.

Then he took up Alec’s wrist and did the same, first one then the other. “There is like a demonic poison in him,” Simon gagged, and then kept up his efforts. His efforts worked. Wrists and throat no longer bled, though they looked scarred and mangled. Alec breathed with difficulty, but still breathed. He remained unconscious and unmoving, on the edge of death and sustained now only by Simon’s bites. That might not last long considering what else Maureen had done. Simon hoped his Daylighter vampire venom mojo was stronger than Maureen’s evil and insane dark vampire venom mojo.

Sustained. It wasn’t death. It also wasn’t exactly life. Maureen’s demonic venom prevented any further healing, no matter what they tried. If this were Dungeons & Dragons, Simon would have said they needed a paladin to purge the evil from Alec. His eyes suddenly lit up and he looked over at Jace.


	3. Angel Magic

If this were Dungeons & Dragons, Simon would have said they needed a cleric to purge the evil from Alec’s body. Or a paladin. His eyes suddenly lit up and he looked over at Jace. Everyone else followed his gaze.

“heavenly Fire will burn away all that is demon. Pray he is more Heaven;s than Hell’s,” Simon recalled the Angel Raziel’s words regarding the Sword of Michael whose Heavenly Fire burned away the demonic bond between Jace and Sebastian (for still no one could get used to calling him Jonathan Morgenstern). That Heavenly Fire was now trapped inside Jace, sometimes burning people for it was fire, but there was a potential there that Simon saw. “I think we are out of other options,” he explained to the growing reticence around him. Jace had no control still of this new power. “I think I can revive or do you all want him to be dead or Dark?”

Jace flexed his hands, “I can’t control it. I might burn him to death.” He rubbed anxiously at the _parabattai_ run on his own chest. It ached with the sense of a dying bond-mate (battle brother). He wasn’t sure he could cope with that loss and could not even manage a smartass remark to lighten the moon.

“How would he rather die, then, Jace? Burned and in Heaven or left to be claimed by Hell? You can purge Maureen’s evil from him.” Simon believed in Jace, in Jace’s ability to do miracles in the name of Heaven, but he never really stated it so openly. Jace and Simon only ever supported each other and behaved like friends when no one was around to witness it… till now. Now there was something more important than saving face or maintaining one’s reputation. Simon bit his lip and looked past everyone as the door opened.

Brother Zachariah entered, his words in everyone’s minds, _‘The Daylighter speaks true.’_ He touched Alec’s brow. _‘Alexander Lightwood is beyond what we can do with that poison within her. Jace, you are Heaven’s instrument. Perhaps this is exactly why you have been left with this power from Michael’s sword within you.’_ He stepped back, gesturing for Jace to get close to Alec.

Simon sat by Magnus and washed the blood from the warlock’s shaking hands, then wrapped him in a blanket. The older man with the cat eyes looked like he was in a state of shock, eyes never leaving Alec’s almost lifeless form on the blood-soaked bed. Jace sat on the edge of that bed. A new smartass remark popped in his head, something about the Hand of God, but he refrained from saying it aloud, too. His hand hovered over Alec’s chest, rare uncertainty crossing his expression. Where was it even safe to touch Alec?

With Magnus bundled, Simon turned and saw the hesitation. He could feel the blood flowing sluggishly through Alec’s body and somehow knew where Jace could touch. He risked getting burned and guided Jace’s hand. A fire seemed to crawl under Simon’s skin, but he didn’t release Jace till Jace pressed his hand to Alec’s upper left arm. Alec’s body jerked. Simon jumped back, palm and fingers red from here he was in contact with Jace. Smoke rose from the puncture holes Maureen’s fangs had left all over Alec’s currently naked body. Jace lifted his hand away, wincing at the blistering handprint he left behind.

Zachariah used his own stele and drew a modified _iratze_ rune to try to heal Alec. It too faded swiftly to a thin white scar. He drew several other runes no one was familiar with onto Alec’s body. Everyone held their breath. Nothing happened. Nothing seemed to happen. If there was healing it was internal. Everyone still standing sank to sit on other cots, stools or chairs, hope falling with them. _‘I am sorry,’_ Zachariah apologized, _‘If perhaps our numbers had not been decimated by Valentine, we could have gathered to do more. If we try to move him to the Silent City, the journey would likely kill him.’_

Isabelle gave Simon a fierce look, “Turn him.”

“WHAT?! Are you crazy?!”

“He’ll only become a vampire if he dies. Simon… please,” Izzy never begged and pleaded, but she just could not lose another brother.

Zachariah was the one to disappoint her, _‘The blood of the Daylighter will help revive him, give him strength and hold him to the world, but will not heal him. He would have to die anyways.’_

Simon thought back to when Lilith had him bite and give blood to Sebastian. It hadn’t truly brought him back, so why would it bring back Alec. It was Jace who knew the answer to that, “Simon’s blood, a shit load of demonic magic and my blood brought Sebastian back. What is Alec drank a mix of my blood and Simon’s?”

Not exactly keen about having anyone drink his blood and feeling the need to state the obvious, Simon said, “But we’re missing the magic and I don’t think anyone wants to pour demonic magic into Alec, especially since you just purged the evil out of him.”

 _‘Perhaps Angelic magic,’_ suggested Brother Zachariah. _‘Clarissa, Magnus and I can combine our talents. Isabelle, please get the crystal bowl I used to heal Jace.’_ She was already out the door using her speed mark to be swifter.

Runes already manifested in Cary’s mind, the same ones she had been thinking about when they used this bowl healing Jace. They were to heighten strength and endurance, healing and life. Another run invaded her thoughts and she pushed it away for the moment. One thing at a time. She could enhance the runes from the Grey Book, enhance the _iratze_ healing rune. And the new rune she thought of while they healed Jace was one for life… a life rune to help someone stay alive while badly injured till they could be healed enough to heal on their own. Yes! That was what was needed. She was sure of it. She heard Simon speaking to Magnus and wondered how those two became close enough to warrant this kind of concern and knowledge. It must have been when she was with Jace and Sebastian (she could not call him Jonathan and wished there was some other name, something more evil, to call him), and while Simon and everyone were coming up with the Sword of Michael.

“Magnus,” Simon spoke through the haze of shock, like he had when he manipulated his mother. He tried to do it consciously this time as he repeated Magnus’ name till Magnus looked at him instead of at Alec. “Magnus, Can you do this? Lend your energy to this crystal bowl so I might be able to help Alec?” He knew making portals and healing took lots of energy from Magnus and didn’t know if the warlock had anything left in him for more.

Magnus simply nodded. He’d find the energy. He’d use something he learned from the White Book of magic if he had to. He closed his eyes and gathered his reserves. Guilt gnawed at him as he remembered his last words to Alec, how Alec never trusted him, but really, was it not the other way around? Had he not trusted Alec with his own dark past? And after all, Alec had completely opened himself, trusting his life’s essence in Magnus’ hands. Alec had willingly shortened his own already short life for Magnus. Time to return the favor.

Another rune became vibrant in Clary’s mind, but she knew it had to wait. Alec’s life had to first be secured. They had to know he would not bleed out, had to know he was stable. This Angelic version of Lilith’s magic needed to work first, and then this new rune in her head could be used. One step at a time.

Izzy returned with the bowl, quartz and engraved with ancient and powerful Angelic runes. Zachariah used his stele to trace over and activate the runes on the bowl. These were older runes, too powerful to be drawn on even a Nephilim’s body. Clary was already translating them in her head, their meaning mysteriously clear to her. As the bowl was handed to her, she read them aloud, “By land and sky, and Heaven’s might, Bless and protect, with Angelic light.” She then began to inscribe it with her own stele, bindrunes (runic combinations) for healing, strength, endurance, life.

“I drank from that bowl!” Declared Jace as he recognized both the bowl and the chant.

 _‘Yes, and iron sister marked you with fresh runes of protection and I had you drink from the bowl. You are not yet an adult, so we were able to do a similar rite to what we do with Nephilim children at birth. There are several of these bowls around the world for birth rites. They are usually paired with a stele that only an Iron Sister can wield.’_ Explained Brother Zachariah.

The bowl was handed to Magnus. Simon fidgeted, lokking back to the still bleeding Alec on the bed, with the bandages now soaked red. “We need to hurry this up. We’re losing him.” He could somehow sense the slowing of the blood flow, the stuttering of Alec’s heart. The bowl blazed brightly with the magic Magnus poured into it. Living runes of some other language that Magnus knew, pulled from the White Book shimmered within the quartz. Clary gasped. White streaks formed in Magnus’ hair.

Simon caught the bowl just in time as the warlock sagged and fell from his chair, shaking and unconscious. He was helped into the nearest cot and rebundled in the blankets. Isabelle remembered a vial of fluid that helps with shock and managed to force its green liquid into Magnus. She wished she had remembered it earlier.

Simon didn’t bother to think or wait, otherwise he would never be able to do this. He bit his own wrist and bled into the bowl. A quick lick after sealed the small wound. He could have just let his body do it naturally, but he was trying to practice and get into the habit of not leaving open bleeding holes. He had discovered this skill only last night when he and Isabelle spent the night together making out. There was still so much he didn’t know about being a vampire or even a Daylighter.

Jace’s arm invaded Simon’s vision as he bled from a neat slash in the wrist. “Save him, Simon. Please.” Jace’s expression was grim as he used an _iratze_ rune to heal the slash after. Jace could feel the life fading from Alec through the _parabattai_ rune on his chest.

Simon nodded. It was rare that Jace was civil with Simon or used his name. This only ever happened when there was no one else around. Simon broght the bowl to Alec’s lips after swiling the contents a couple times. Flecks of gold seemed to be mixed in the red fluid. Simon figured it was the Angel aspects of Jace’s blood. He cradled Alec’s head as carefully as he could, but Alec would not drink. “Swallow,” he commanded gently but firmly as he recalled how he controlled his mother a while ago. Alec swallowed reflexively with clear difficulty. He couldn’t open his mouth properly and the damage done inside his throat did not help. Yet, with extreme patience and steadiness, practiced when Simon had cared for his dying father, Alec drank down all the contents of the bowl.

Alec’s body shuddered and he took a deeper and clearly painful breath. Was this enough? Would he heal now? Calry sat beside Simon, “I know a rune, like the Alliance Rune we used in Idris, that I can put on the two of you. Me doing it will only allow it to work for a few days before it fades. It will last longer if he could do it himself. But this way he will draw steadily only from you for healing.”

Simon thrust out his arm. “This is going to burn up all my blood points, isn’t it?”

She quirked an eyebrow at him for the _Vampire the Masquerade_ gaming reference. “Probably. You’ll need to feed probably lots and often. And stay close or you will be out of range for this to work, just like the other Alliance rune. As soon as he is well enough to draw this himself on the two of you, he should, so he can keep healing.” She drew it first on Simon, then on Alec.

“He can feed from us,” Izzy declared. “Shadowhunters replenish their blood faster than humans.” She gave Simon a reassuring smile. He had only just recently started to feed from her occasionally, but was very uncomfortable with the idea of biting his other friends.

“Best keep it to my blood,” Jace interjected. “More Angel blood potency and it’s what was in the bowl. And if in the future Alec dies and comes back as… something, the more Angel blood the better.” No one could argue with that logic.

Angel magic. It apparently was the right choice. Alec began to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will happen with Simon's vampiric spit in Alec... and Izzy... and others?  
> What will happen with Simon's blood in Alec?  
> What will happen to Simon with more of Jace's blood in him?  
> Didn't Izzy describe some of this to Simon?


	4. Of Healing and Hunger

The first 24 hours…

Simon paced the infirmary. Alec remained still. Magnus remained still. Each in a different bed. The smell of stagnant blood in the sheets of Alec’s bed made Simon nauseous. So he brought over a basin and bathed Alec, then moved him to a fresh bed. Thank you vampiric strength! Then he stripped the old bed and dumped everything onto laundry bin in the room. He wondered who did the laundry around the Institute. The others took turns sitting with Alec, including his parents who asked tons of questions about what happened. No one knew anything beyond that Magnus brought him in, Maureen had killed Camille, and Maureen was responsible for Alec’s current injuries. Oh, and they had been updated on what was done to Alec to save his life. The Clave and Alec’s parents were both not sure how they felt about this. It left too many unanswered possible result. They also wanted to question Magnus… a lot… as soon as Magnus came around.

Close to midnight, Alec showed marked improvement in that he coughed up disgusting stuff from his lungs and then was breathing much easier. Simon could feel the drain on himself. Brother Zachariah explained that Alec was healing well, and from the most critically life-threatening wounds to the least, it seemed. Alec showed signs of distress to the movements and sounds of people around him, so they decided that as soon as it was safe to move him, they would transfer him to his bedroom and give Simon the room next door.

A few hours later, Simon could feel the painful gnawing in his gut. His hands shook a little. He became hyper aware of the two living forms in the room. NO! He would not feed from them. He needed to stay in control. He texted Clary and asked her to please ask Jace to come now.

About ten minutes passed and the door opened. Jace sauntered in. “You know, you text me directly.”

“Clary’s on my speed-dial.”

Jace frowned, took Simon’s phone and added a bunch of new contacts to the speed-dial. “Now you have no more excuses. You gave everyone’s numbers.” He handed the cell phone back and stood expectantly. “So? How do you want to do this?”

Simon looked briefly aghast. “I… I don’t know. Last time I bit you… I was drained so bad that I didn’t even know it was you till moments before I backed off. And the only other person I have… I’ve ever… Well… Izzy… but we were…”

“Having sex?”

Simon slammed his face into his palm at Jace’s bluntness and silly grin. “I am not having sex with you, Jace. And I don’t want you to have a death wish when I do this either. Clary needs you and so does-”

“Shut it, Simon. I was just trying to… nevermind.” Jace looked around the room and shrugged then sat on a stool and pushed his hair away from his neck, exposing his jugular. “You’re shaking. You need blood. So, just do it. Is healing him really using up the blood in you?”

Simon nodded, “Burning it up like fire burns alcohol. I thought I would get through till tomorrow, but… I guess not.” He stepped closer already feeling his fangs extending, hearing the thrum of blood through Jace’s throat. Jace kept his hands on his own knees and waited, tilting his head a little and watching Simon with open curiosity. Simon put a hand on Jace’s shoulder and hesitated only a moment. The hunger grew too swiftly and he almost pounced. By instinct, he knew where to bite. The blood pulsed into his mouth. Jace let out a gasp of surprise and then relaxed. That was the effect of vampiric venom, that state of euphoria, a relaxed moment where the victim gave in to being fed upon, felt something pleasant. There was an unconscious trust. Simon backed off once mostly sated and licked the wound closed.

Jace reached up to touch where he had been bitten. The euphoria faded. “Did you just lick me?” At Simon’s discomfort, he grinned, “How erotic.”

“You are an ass.”

“I am the sexiest ass you will ever meet.”

Simon rolled his eyes and sat in the chair next to Alec’s bed again, purposefully ignoring Jace. Jace left the room after a long awkward pause. Simon sighed and took Alec’s hand. “You’re going to be ok.”

Two days later, Alec was moved to his own room. Simon went along of course to stay close. He had to feed from Jace each day so far. Everyone wondered what changes Jace’s blood would have on Simon. Since the first time, Simon fed a great deal from Jace, and the angel blood turned him into a Daylighter. What gifts would more of it give Simon? Simon hoped for things like being able to eat food and drink something other than blood, even if both were unnecessary. It would allow him to do something normal with everyone who were eating and drinking around a table. He didn’t think too much about it. When he fed from Jace, it was out of need and thought was almost impossible. Hunger dominated every swallow till the hunger was sated.

“Alec, you are totally burning up my blood points on a daily basis. You need to slow down soon.” Simon stretched and paced Alec’s room. “I know you can hear me. I’m not going to tease you or be inappropriate. I promise. I know you hate stuff like that. How about I tell you about Blood Points? I know you don’t get the reference. I’ll tell you about my world of things and when you wake up, you can teach me about yours. That way neither of us has to be confused by the other. Izzy said you were a great teacher because you remembered everything really well and could explain it simply and easily.” He launched into a monologue about the rules of the roleplaying game _Vampire the Masquerade_. He wished Alec were awake and could talk so maybe they could debate the truths and fallacies of vampires from this game versus reality.

Simon had Clary retrieve his gaming books from Jordan’s apartment so maybe he could have that discussion later with Alec. Meanwhile, he perused Alec’s room. It was simple, though not utilitarian like Jace’s. Alec’s dresser drawers seemed tidy till you opened them and found the mashed chaos within. It made Simon smirk. Alec always seemed so collected, even if he wore old and frayed (overly loved and overly well-worn) clothes. He had very pristine formal clothing hanging in a closet for when he had to meet with the Clave or go to Council meetings. Simon felt a bit like he was invading. Well, he was invading Alec’s privacy. It was just peeking. Simon was BORED! He could not leave the room or he would be out of range for the modified healing/alliance rune to work. He perused the shelves and flipped through the books but didn’t really understand the context of the texts. Laws, procedures, history… poetry. Poetry? He slid that one back onto the shelf like he had discovered a secret diary by accident and smiled. Further perusing revealed more books of poetry. Alec liked poetry. He hoped Alec’s taste in poetry was better than Simon’s friend, Eric.

Earlier that day, Magnus finally woke. His strangled outcry echoed in the hall from the infirmary. Alec’s bed was empty. Not just empty, but stripped bare like when a body was cleared away. Had he missed it? Did the magic fail? Did he miss the funeral? It took a good twenty minutes to calm him and reassure him that Alec was fine. Well, not fine, but healing and would be fine. Magnus decidedly did not like thinking of Alec as dead or dying. Of old age was alright, but not by any other means. And he thought he would be able to live without Alec when they broke up? How wrong he was. He asked to see him.

Simon looked up from perusing the bookshelf as Magnus entered Alec’s room. Simon was not used to Magnus looking rumpled and in three day old clothing. Gold-green cat eyes fixed on Simon a moment then onto Alec. Magnus rushed over to Alec’s bedside and cast a small spell to determine Alec’s state of health and healing. “It… worked,” he breathed with relief.

Simon quietly leaned against the windowsill beside a funny looking bench that looked almost like a small antique sofa, and let the sun to warm his back. He didn’t want to disturb the moment. The scene was sweet. There was a tenderness that Simon longed for. He had some of that with Clary but only so far as friendship went. What he had with Izzy was… hard to define. Izzy was not the kind of person you would attach the word tender to, not that she was harsh, but she was intense and passionate. A strong dominant woman. He watched Magnus touch delicate kisses to the least injured of Alec’s hands, then a soft kiss to the brow and finally the lips. Simon looked away, his chest feeling uncomfortably tight. His eyes stung and he pinched at them worried they would leak blood. They didn’t. Just a bit of salty dampness. He didn’t know why this bothered him so much. Simons wasn’t gay or even bi as far as he knew. But he knew love when he saw it and he knew he didn’t actually have anything like that himself.

Feline eyes regarded Simon a moment. “Thank you for caring for him.”

“Was this your fault?” Simon didn’t intend to sound protective and peevish, but for some reason he did.

Magnus sucked in a startled breath and then let it out slowly. “We broke up. I suppose he hoped to vent his anger on Camille since she had come between us in a matter of speaking. I was not there when he fought Maureen and had no idea she would be there at all. So, no… it wasn’t my fault… and yet… I suppose in a way it was.”

“You two will have to work it out when he is stronger,” Simon tried to sound more gentle. “I’ll do my best to help him get back to his usual shadowhunter self. Did you know he likes poetry?”

Magnus seemed surprised, “No. I didn’t.”

“Ya… you two never really did talk much. You should. It will do wonders for your relationship. I know you two love each other a great deal. I almost envy it.”

“Careful, I’ll think you are opening up an invitation.”

Simon choked then chuckled at the absurdity. “I am so neither your type nor his.”

Magnus stood and strode to the door. Now that he knew Alec would be well, he could attend to the meeting with the Clave about Maureen and what happened to Alec. He stopped at the door and leveled a look at Simon, “How do you know?”

Simon turned to look out the window to hide his growing discomfort. Hadn’t he meant that he was not gay thus not Magnus or Alec’s type? He shook his head and texted Jace to come to the room later if he was up for another round of donating blood. This feeding daily from Jace was breaking Simon of his hysterical refusal to feed from another living person. Isabelle had started it by teaching Simon he could feed without killing someone. But that came with other risks.

He remembered a conversation she had with him in a café. It was about vampire spit. Well, not exactly about vampire spit. It was about _subjugates_ when Camille had sent her two _subjugates_ to insist he come meet with her. Izzy explained what they were and how they were made. It had something to do with a vampire’s magical spit. It had healing properties for one, helped increase red blood cell count and regeneration, made someone stronger, and made them live longer. Great. Just what Jace needed, extra health AND extra strength AND longer life. On the plus, it would help Izzy and Alec. Simon made a point of secretly biting Alec once a day. Not drinking anything, just doing every extra bit he could to help Alec recover. But a _subjugate_ also had to be given small amounts of vampiric blood to bind it and make it obedient. Drinking made one obedient, but not for long. If they have vampiric blood in them, then they eventually get addicted to taking it, drawn back to the vampire you gave it. He hoped Alec would not become a subjugate, though he was likely to end up a vampire if he died on a mission… maybe.

Simon made mental note to be as careful as he could from now on. He didn’t want to accidentally turn any of his friends into _subjugates_. Not Izzy. Not Alec. Especially not Jace. Jace already had that kind of experience under Sebastian’s influence.

Alec’s breathing quickened with anguished panic. Simon sat on the bed and tried to reassure him, even brought a cup of water to Alec’s lips. But it was too painful for Alec to swallow. “Alec? It’s Simon. Don’t try to talk. Maureen totally made a wreck of your throat.” Alec’s blue eyes opened suddenly, startling Simon. Those blue eyes now had flecks of gold as if they were now the stunning color of lapis lazuli. Everyone had something that made them attractive. Simon… was just plain boring Simon, plain brown curling hair, plain brown eyes, no real muscle, no tan now or ever again, no facial hair, nothing special at all. Not that any of that mattered at this precise moment.

“Alec? Do you hurt? I can call someone to bring something for the pain.” Alec nodded and slipped back into fitful unconsciousness, the pain too much to bear. Simon could sense too that Alec was weak from lack of fluids and food.

Simon dialed Magnus’s cell, now that he had the number, and disturbed him in that likely heated meeting. “Sorry,” Simon apologized as Magnus switched the cell to speaker for everyone to hear. “Thought you would want to know that Alec woke for a moment. He’s in a lot of pain and really needs an IV with fluids and nutrients. Can you or someone get or so anything about that?”

“Right away,” Magnus replied. “You know that you could manipulate his mind to not feel the pain.”

“Oh no. No no no.” Simon’s voice through the phone was edged with vehement refusal. “That leads to the dark Side. I am not starting down that path however good the intentions might be.”

While not everyone got the Star Wars movie reference, they all got the gist of what worried Simon. They didn’t all agree with the decision, but no one was going to argue with the one person keeping Alec alive and healing him.

“We will have to continue this after. Alec comes first,” stated Magnus to the people in the room. Into the phone he said, “I’ll be there within the hour.”

Within the hour on the dot, Magnus entered Alec’s room. This time he was cleaned up, hair in neat black points with what must have been glitter gel. He wore tight black leather pants with silver studs and a renaissance silk purple ruffly blouse. Once again, Simon wished he could dare to wear clothes like that. Magnus set up the IV stand with the bag of fluid.

“I know how to administer that,” Simon spoke with sad confidence. Magnus gave Simon room to do so, while he worked some magic and encouraged Alec to swallow a thin blue liquid for the pain. “Where did you learn to be a doctor?”

“My father was sick for over a year before he died of the cancer. My mom and sister and I all learned how to do everything for him. Needles, injections, pills, IV, feeding, cleaning, moving him and exercising so he didn’t get bedsores or bed bruises. I’m just glad this time it is for someone who will get better.” Simon explained as he smoothly inserted the needle and plugged in the IV. He looked down at the fading rune on his arm. “When Alec wakes again, he needs to draw that rune on each of us. If he can’t, I’ll have Clary do it in the morning. I’d just rather get through the whole week and not just a few days.

Simon jumped when his phone vibrated in his jeans pocket. It was Clary. Apparently Jordan was waiting him. Clary had him bring over some of Simon’s clothes. He also wanted to meet Simon and check up on how he was doing. Jordan, the Praetor werewolf assigned to keep Simon safe and teach him self-control. Simon was almost an easy assignment. Agreeable, polite, mild-mannered, simple (if lost like a puppy), and too worried about being a scary monster to be a real danger to others. He was more a danger to himself, but Isabelle’s intervention was doing wonders to teach Simon it was ok to feed regularly and even on someone willing. Maureen was a hard lesson in what could happen when you neglect that need to feed. Simon will never forget ever again.

Simon took advantage of Magnus sitting with Alec to go to his new room next door for clean clothes… oh… and a shower. Jordan can just wait. After that shower, Jordan and Simon sat and updated each other on the state of affairs. Simon’s band was struggling as usual and asking when Simon was coming back. Someone let slip that Simon was a vampire to Jordan, so he gave them a scare and turned to a wolf, threatening to eat them if they ever let something like that slip again. Once they recovered, they started bugging him about if they could get gigs for the “otherworldly” people. Simon rolled his eyes dramatically. He updated Jordan about what happened with Alec and the risk they took giving Alec some of Simon’s blood mixed with Jace’s and how Simon was now feeding from Jace to sustain some magic healing thing.

“You always have a place at my apartment if you need it. But while you are here, I’ll be checking up on you weekly,” Jordan stretched and leans back on Simon’s bed. “I’m glad you are feeding regularly. You look better. And you aren’t shaking any more like a junky suffering withdrawal.”

Simon tossed the towel he had dried with into a waiting laundry basket and grinned when he didn’t miss. He still had no idea who did laundry and if he would have to do his own. Not that that was a problem, he just wanted to know. Maybe shadowhunters had some rune for that or some angel magic to make clothes clean.

“Angel blood.” As if that explained everything. Simon realized that maybe it didn’t. “Jace has been my donor.” He could not bring himself to use other terms like vessel, source, food or prey. They just all seemed wrong.

Jordan chuckled approvingly at the term of donor. “Well, you’re hitting the one year mark of being a vampire.”

The look Simon gave him clearly told Jordan that Simon had no clue what that meant. “So. Do Vampires celebrate it like a birthday? Because I sure as Hell don’t intend to.”

Jordan reminded himself to be patient. Simon didn’t really know anything about real vampires, had no training, and had a sire that would prefer the Daylighter dead. “Some do. But that is not what I meant. Vampires go through changes at one year, 50 years, and every century after.”

Simon’s eyes widened in imagined horror. “What? What sort of changes?” His voice pitched up in distress.

Jordan shrugged, “Depends on the vampire. They develop or refine their gifts or abilities and sometimes grow into new ones. Like… uh… bringing color to their skin.”

“I can already blush,” Simon admitted with some embarrassment.

“Some learn how to get it up so they can fuck… and even ejaculate.”

Again Simon rolled his eyes. “Done and done… very gross and bloody. I even cry blood… except maybe earlier today.”

“Filtering. That happens. You develop the ability to filter out the water for tears, cum, spit… But you have to replace the water or you risk dehydrating the blood in you.” Jordan propped himself up on his elbows.

Simon averted his eyes as the first thought that popped unbidden in his mind (thanks to Magnus’ flirting) was how attractive Jordan was. _‘WHAT is wrong with me?!’_ he thought to himself. Instead he said out loud, “And if I can’t eat or drink anything but blood?”

“Oh, you should try. Water that is. If you drink too much, then you’ll just piss it out. Vampires can drink water, blood, wine, well most alcohol… and vinegar too but gross.”

“Great! Let’s just pickle and preserve me,” Simon grumbled sarcastically.

“The Angel blood must be making changes in you. I can see it and smell it.”

Simon gave Jordan a skeptical look.

Jordan waved his fingers gesturing at Simon’s head, “You got this highlighting happening in your hair and eyes. A vibrancy, like you seem almost alive with an actual heartbeat. And usually vampires have no smell. Hey! At least I didn’t comment before about how you stank like week old sweaty gym socks.”

“Did I?!” Simon felt mortified.

Jordan laughed. “No. Relax. You just have a smell that is… something, you I guess. Most vampires have no scent at all. Now you have a small scent. I just think that the Angel blood you’re drinking is maybe accelerating some of the changes and livening up some of your dormant parts. Look at it this way. Maybe sex Izzy will be better.”

Simon groaned and abandoned Jordan to return to Alec. He did not need sex on the brain. Then he stopped and caught Jordan in the hallway. “How do I not turn people into _subjugates_ when I drink from them?”

“Don’t give them your blood… and… when you drink, be the one to surrender,” Jordan supplied. Jordan knew to tread carefully regarding training Simon. His charge had a tendency to freak out and reject what he was if you scared him with the facts about vampires too quickly or gave him too much information. It was a private conversation he had had with Izzy a while ago, to try to ease Simon into drinking from people and learning to be what he was. It seemed to be working out so far. Simon really had changed, especially after his encounter with the Angel Raziel.

Simon seemed puzzled. Could really be that simple? All he had to do was be the one to surrender? “Thanks.” The idea of surrendering to Jace was not really what he wanted to do. Jace did not need anything else to reinforce his god-complex. However, the alternative was much worse.

Alec was awake when Simon entered the room. There was a palpable tension and awkwardness present between Alec and Magnus, even while Magnus finished a bit of magic to better set Alec’s bones. Alec still looked like a Cerberus had dragged him into Hell, used him for a chew toy and spat him off a cliff to land back in the real world. He could not sit up with help and could not talk, could hardly swallow or move, certain can’t yet walk. But, he held a stele in his least injured hand and looked expectantly at Simon, imploring him to come closer before his energy waned and he succumbed to the pain.

Magnus stepped back as Simon came to sit on the edge of the bed. “Oh good,” Simon smiled, “he mark Clary gave us is fading. It only lasts a few days. If you do it, it will last a few weeks. You should be fully healed by then, sooner if possible.”

Alec first drew a _steadiness_ rune on himself so his hand would not shake too much drawing the more complicated new rune on both himself and Simon next. Simon took the stele from his loosening fingers as Alec closed his eyes against the pain and slid back into oblivion.

Magnus stood in the doorway about to leave, looking back with sadness in his eyes. “I have to get back to that meeting. Apparently Maureen is culling Raphael’s clan as she makes it her own. Raphael has requested sanctuary and relocation.” It was very disturbing information. Then he was out the door and gone.

Simon could guess that things will be very awkward between those two till they fix their relationship and get back together, or come to terms about being apart as Simon and Clary have. He looked down at the fresh rune on his arm. Clary’s drawings were grand, graceful and sweeping. Alec’s were smaller, precise, almost delicate. Simon checked on the IV, nodding to himself. Alec was healing well, if slow. Simon could almost sense what was healing now: the punctured intestines, the pinched lower spine, the torn up interior of the throat (though Magnus and Zacharia had both agreed that damage there was likely permanent and the healing Simon did sealed the worst of it in a poor state; Alec would never speak again), the broken jaw, and the cracked pelvis.

Simon tucked the blankets around Alec and paced the room again, then sat down on the stool by the bed and just talked. He needed to fill the silence, and knew that it had helped his father. If Alec remembered anything of what Simon says, then Alec will know Simon’s life story, the entire detailed tales of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, and all about role playing: “Vampire: the Masquerade,” “Werewolf: world of Darkness,” and Dungeons & Dragons.

Jace walked in about an hour later. The blond nudged the sofa bench thing over to the window and draped himself into it like he owned the room. “He no longer feels like he’s going to die. Good work, vampire.”

“Why am I always called vampire, or Daylighter, or leech?” Simon asked venomously.

“None of us call you leech, but it’s a good analogy,” Jace mused.

“People don’t call you just shadowhunter or nephilim or angel.”

“Ooohhh. I like Angel.” Jace flashed a bright charming smile.

“That’s a girl’s name,” Simon said blandly, trying to be bored with Jace’s cocky antics.

Jace wrinkled his nose and decided he didn’t like the name angel after all. “People DO call me just shadowhunter or nephilim.”

“Oh.” That totally defeated the old argument Simon was trying to have with Jace. “The point is that I have a name. I. Have. A. Name. Simon Lewis. I hate when people call me something like I am a thing and not a person. I hate being called vampire and Daylighter. Daylighter just emphasizes that I am not normal, not even for a vampire.” He felt the need to take in a deep breath and huff it out to try to release his frustration.

Jace sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, listening to Simon’s rant. “Alright, Lewis.” He stretched and swept back his hair, exposing his throat. “Are we doing this tonight or should I come back in the morning? I want to get back in bed with Clary.”

Simon sighed with exasperation. Military use of his name was an improvement and likely as good as he would get from Jace. He thought he could hold off the feeding for a few hours, but not all the way till morning. He walked over to Jace. Anticipation shone heavily in Jace’s eyes and stirred a hunger in Simon’s belly. Perhaps he could not wait a few hours after all. Maybe Jace’s angel blood had addictive properties? Simon chastised himself. _This is for healing Alec. And great, just great. Here I am behaving like Pavlov’s dog._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fixed the AO3 glitch that had this chapter posted thrice.
> 
> The next chapter is gratuitous sexual tension and stuff inappropriate for children... for the fans of: Jace X Simon and Jace X Clary
> 
> Please R&R.


	5. Feels Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Simon... the feeding take an unusually sensual turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first for the Jace X Simon fans out there. I might do a few more along this line...

Jace watched the vampire approach and leaned back against the back of the sofa bench. His eyes taunted and dared Simon, who stood there now wholly sure how to get closer but the hunger pulling him to. Simon stood over Jace, straddling the blond’s legs. Jace was challenging him and he was falling for it. Simon placed his hands on the back of the sofa bench on either side of Jace. It was quite the dominant position that came with a small thrill of power. Power over Jace. Power over a powerful shadowhunter. That kind of control felt a little intoxicating.

“Now you look like a real hunter,” commented Jace as he looked up into Simon’s face.

It almost made Simon jerk back, but Jace grabbed his pants at the hips and smirked up. Simon realized that he would never be more powerful Jace, no matter their position. But, he could be in control. It would be so easy, feel so good. Then he wouldn’t feel small, useless, and powerless again.

Jace broke the lengthening silence, “Well, are you going to bite me?”

“Talking takes all the fun out of it,” Simon tried to joke to cover his nervous realization that he almost did what he never wanted to do. He licked his lips, tongue touching over the point of one fang as he closed his eyes trying to shut out Jace’s cocky attitude. He collected his thoughts. _Be the one to surrender_ , he repeated to himself like a mantra. His body and expression relaxed, passively taking in Jace’s scent and sensing the pulse at Jace’s throat. He let go of his sense of self and surrendered.

Mischief played unseen in Jace’s eyes and at the corners of his mouth. He tugged Simon closer till Simon’s knees pushed uncomfortably against the bench. He leaned forward and, with a purposeful huskiness in his voice, spoke in Simon’s ear. “Bite me,” he said slowly and seductively just to see Simon squirm. Only Simon didn’t.

Simon lifted one knee onto the bench, bent further down, and obediently sank his fangs into Jace’s neck. He tasted playfulness. He suckled at the growing warmth filling his mouth. He didn’t notice how being bent had untucked his shirt a little, not till a too hot hand flexed and regripped at his hip, a finger making contact with his cool skin. Simon felt the sear of heavenly fire. He lifted his lips from Jace’s throat to gasp in brief surprise at the pain.

Jace pulled his closer, into his lap. “Don’t stop till you’re done,” he breathed hotly into Simon’s ear.

Simon sank his fangs back in. His body pressed against Jace’s, heat radiating between them. He forgot the pain. Hard pleasure throbbed where their pants bulged and met. A soft groan escaped Jace’s lips at the heightened arousal and pressure. An intoxicating sweetness suddenly flavored Jace’s blood. Simon softly moaned, lost in the taste and the sensations.

“Feels… good,” Jace huffed heavily. He wanted to rock and thrust and…

Simon drew away, having had his fill of the blood. The euphoria fades for Jace, who sighed and gently yet firmly pushed Simon away so he could stand. Jace chuckled richly, “That was different. Now I really need to go…” He didn’t want to finish the sentence, knowing how Simon once felt about Clary. Avoiding ruining the pleasant high he still felt, he left the room to head to Clary’s, leaving Simon still in a haze in Alec’s on the sofa bench by Alec’s window.

Simon’s mind still reeled. That excited, aroused, wanton flavor in Jace’s blood still coated his tongue. He swallowed and sucked the remains from his teeth, swallowing again. Then he realized why his pants felt so uncomfortable. He spun to face the window. Mortified by his state, he cracked the window open and sharply inhaled the cold November air. _What… just… happened?_ “Oh. My. God.” He didn’t choked on the word, though at the moment he totally didn’t even notice. He’d been aroused and even had sex with Izzy while feeding… once. It was… nice. It was NOT like this. This… this was… Simon was too embarrassed to say it, or even think it. _What have I done? What did we do? What is WRONG with me?!_

Simon slammed the window shut and retreated to Alec’s bathroom. There was some privacy there. He swiftly undid his pants to relieve the pressure and tried to will his unwanted erection to just go away. His brain ran circles around what happened between him and Jace. Some of it was still fuzzy and slowly clarifies in the most confusing reality.

He had been in Jace’s lap. They were both really really aroused. They were practically grinding together. Simon wasn’t sure if he felt faint or if he would throw up. It wasn’t as if he hated the idea of homosexuality. It was just nothing he thought included him… or Jace for that matter. He was not against people being bi or gay. He wasn’t turned off by displays of their affection or the idea of gay sex. But him? And Jace? He didn’t think himself bi, though only because he never considered it. Jace… Simon was quite sure Jace was not bi. _So what the hell was that that happened between us?_

It had to be from the feeding. Maybe Simon did subconsciously have sex on the brain thanks to both Magnus and Jordan. But he didn’t want to control Jace! He thought he had surrendered. He sat on the toilet lid, head in his hands. Jace will kill him when he fully comes to his senses. Clary might never speak to him again, though there was hope that she might understand that he really didn’t mean it. Izzy… well they weren’t exclusive, but it was not necessarily wise to play with fire. He lifted his shirt at that thought and hissed at the small burn the length of a finger over his hip that would not heal with his vampiric abilities.

His feeding choices if he fed from someone were: feed and make the person a mindless forgetful puppet; control their thoughts and emotions while feeding (but that seemed like rape or inducing terror); or passively surrender to the feeding and accept the consequences that came with it. It must have been that. The euphoria from feeding made the experience feel good. Logically then, one thing could lead to another. He weighed the options, starting to feel confused about his own identity and sexuality. No. Mindless puppet feeding was not an option. Nor was violating someone’s will and forcing his own upon them. He took in a couple deep breaths, even if he as a vampire didn’t need to. Breathing was simply a habit he didn’t break. No matter how he felt about anyone, surrendering was the only option. He awkwardly resigned himself to the fate that things, possibly sensual or sexual things, might happen even if he didn’t want them. Didn’t he? Or maybe he did want them? He shook his head. It was too soon to be questioning his orientation.

Now, though, how will he ever be able to look Jace in the eye?

Calmed, he belatedly realized the bathroom was the same as his own. Apparently he shared this bathroom with Alec since their bedrooms were side by side. He should have noticed this before since he’s been here for several days, though admittedly, he had been too distracted with just trying to help save Alec’s life. He stood and redid his pants, then splashed some water on his face and took and experimental sip of that water from his cupped hands. No bad reactions.

He hoped Jace didn’t tell anyone about this evening’s incident. He hoped it could be forgotten. He took another sip of water and avoided his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He wished real vampires didn’t have reflections. Apparently they did, though. He never liked mirrors to begin with, never liked his own reflection and doubted he looked much better now as a vampire than he did before he became one. He wondered what Izzy saw in him. He was just boring friend-zoned Simon. Boring plain brown hair that curled however it chose and never how he chose. Boring plain brownish green eyes, hazel, never vibrant in any shade. No wonder he envied hot guys like Jace and Alec, or envied guys brave enough to dress outlandishly and still look amazing like Magnus.

He left the bathroom disgusted with himself and his train of thought. He chose to sit on the stool a while as he could not bring himself to sit on the sofa bench, not even look at it at the moment. The last four, or was it five, days of staying awake monitoring and caring for Alec started to finally take their toll on Simon. He teetered on the stool and jerked alert so he didn’t fall off. He wished Alec’s futon was larger so he could curl up on it and sleep close by. He wasn’t sure if he could be far enough away to sleep in his own room and still have the rune helping Alec heal. He moved to sit on the floor by the futon and crossed his arms on its edge. He put his head down on his arms and drifted off as he was comfortable enough.


	6. Restraint & Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gratuitus near smut involving Jace & Clary.

Meanwhile, Jace’s blood raced hotly through his veins. Jace didn’t expect to actually get aroused during that feeding session, but he was mildly curious about what would be like with a vampire… just not necessarily with Simon. That was a bit baffling, and yet totally amusing. Simon had been just as aroused. Jace wasn’t really bi, would never cross the line, especially since he was with Clary. However, it was great fun to play and it certainly did feel good.

He closed Clary’s door quietly. He pulled off his shirt and dropped it onto a chair, nudging his shoes under the chair, socks stuffed into them. He didn’t need a silencing rune to creep cat-like to her bed unnoticed. He lifted the blanket and slid into the bed just as Clary rolled onto her back. Her eyes were closed but a slow slime spread across her face.

“Can you really be here?” she asked.

“Why not?” Jace purred as he inched closer and moved a leg over hers.

She felt the hardness of his erection against her thigh. “Should you be doing this? I don’t want to be burned with Heavenly Fire.”

Jace pressed pleading kisses to her shoulder. “I most definitely should not be doing this.” He grinned up at her and kissed her neck till she giggled. “I’ll keep my hands off. Then I wouldn’t even be lying when I tell your mother that I kept my hands to myself.” He moved a bit more so he was comfortably between her legs.

Clary gave him room and laughed at his smart comment. Her hands roamed over his lean shoulders and down his rune scarred back. Clary relished the feel of his skin, slightly slick with sweat. She trusted he would not cross the line, that he would respect that she wasn’t quite ready to go that far, despite the condoms Izzy gave her being in the drawer of her bedside table… just in case.

Jace stayed propped on his elbows, one hand fisting in the blankets and the other gripping the side of the pillow to prevent himself from touching her with his hands. He had left Alec’s room so aroused from Simon feeding off him that he really hoped Clary wouldn’t send away. They could just play, no sex, keep their bottoms on as they have before. He pecked teasing kisses on her lips till she pulled him closer for a proper kiss.

He moaned into that proper kiss as pressure against his hard member sent a roiling hungry heat through his body. Clary’s fingers slid under the waistband of his pants, thumbs hooking the edge. He raised a surprised/questioning/pleased eyebrow. Then he raised his hips a little to allow her to push his pants down. With some silly wriggling, he managed to get his pants to his knees, her hands resting over his silk boxer shorts.

He pressed himself against every part of her that he could, shifting his hips with careful restraint. He swore to himself that he would let her decide how far to go,though he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out. From now on, he planned to keep an _endurance_ rune active at all times, like Alec did. He vaguely wondered if this was precisely why Alec did so. The thought evaporated as friction, heat, huffed breaths and the pleasure of the moment replaced thinking. Grinding. Rubbing. Grappling. Gasping. The motions became erratic as Clary muffled a soft cry into his shoulder, every muscle clenching. Pleased he did hold out long enough, Jace rode this till his own climax. They panted heavily after, trying to catch their breaths. With mild bemusement, Jace thought that they could both use an endurance rune.

He nuzzled near her ear, “I think I burned the bed a bit.” He got up and stripped his pants and boxers off, using the boxers to clean himself. When he leaves, he’ll have to wear his pants without boxers to get to his room for clean ones… later. Or, he could just strut proudly naked down the Institute halls. That was always fun to get comments from Izzy and send Alec into fits and blushing to hide in his room, yelling through the door for Jace to dress before their parents saw. He let Clary look before she blushed as she realised she was looking. She grabbed clean panties from a drawer and darted to her tiny bathroom.

With a satisfied chuckle, he returned to the bed and checked how bad the damage was. He flipped the pillow as it was not so bad and rotated the blanket so the burned parts were at the foot of the bed. That would do for now. Then he boldly climbed into Clary’s bed again and flopped, still naked, face down. He was blissfully asleep before she dared to climb in with him.


	7. Awareness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's mind, thoughts, and emotions catch up to the present moment with realizations and awarenesses that he had not expected.

Alec’s memories, and his emotions for that matter, were a jumbled mess and punctuated with blinding moments of pain. The clearest recent memories twisted from the breakup with Magnus to the biting, breaking, clawing that Maureen did to him. He wasn’t sure which hurt more. He barely recalled dialing his cell and had hoped he did not dream it. People needed to know about Camille and Maureen.

There were hazy seconds in the dark oblivion of the feeling of magic and of being again bitten over and over, of voices that teased with their familiarity, of drinking… blood. He. Drank. Blood. Fear almost jolted him to full consciousness, but there was a reassurance that followed, something he clung to. That something was more comforting than anything had been in over a year, an unknown something.

Jace. Alec felt Jace. A faint flicker of life. It used to be such a strong feeling that balanced him in a fight and gave him strength and focus. That changed when Jace died by the lake and was brought back by Clary and the Angel Raziel. Where was Jace’s parabatai strength now? Someone was close. There was a soft touch, someone’s hand, Izzy’s he thought. Someone kissed his cheek or brow then gave some commands to someone else in the room. His parents. He heard Simon talking, always talking. It used to annoy him. That was the other presense he felt now. Strange. He felt another presence, more strongly now than the bond he had with Jace. The bond with Jace was fading. Was it because Jace had died and come back? Was it because Jace had been changed by Sebastien or by the Heavenly Fire of the Angel Michael’s sword? Alec worried it would fade entirely but had told no one of his concern. Had it been not so, he might have been able to know where Jace was while he was under Sebastian’s control. He had to thank Simon one day for his brilliance in finding and helping save Jace.

He hurt too much to really listen or wake. Right now Simon was speaking about some story he had told Isabella, something about some guy names Skywalker. Simon should have gone hoarse over the… three days. Right, he was a vampire, he could heal. He wondered why Simon stayed by his side. Sometimes he felt someone move him, changing clothing or bandages or bedding. Did Simon do that, too?

Agony then screamed white through his senses. Despite exhaustion and a wish to fade away. It ripped him awake and into a panic. Between the waves of pain were frightening moments where he felt nothing, nothing at all, just a paralyzing numbness. Simon sat reassuringly by his side. He locked his eyes on the Daylighter like he would a target or his only lifeline.

“Don’t talk,” Simon had said when Alec tried. “Maureen totally wrecked your throat.” Alec wondered if he would ever speak again. At the awareness of pain, Alec started to pant and somehow Simon knew. “I can call someone to bring you something for the pain.” Alec nodded pleadingly before he passed out from the intensity, blissfully back into dark oblivion.

Alec didn’t quite wake when he heard Magnus’ voice. He wanted to run away, hide, be buried with his humiliation. Something pricked the wrist of his broken arm. Broken arm. Broken leg. Broken everything, including his heart. Alec still could not feel his fingers, but the pain everywhere else burned to the surface. His feet were still numb, but feeling tore spasms in his legs. Would he be crippled? He wished the pain would just… end. Then it did with the familiar buzz of magic. Alec relaxed as Simon and Magnus spoke together. Simon jumped and Alec tensed. Soon Simon left. Alec felt the presence grow less close. That is what caused him to open his eyes. He wanted to reach out, call Simon back. His eyes fell upon orange cat eyes. Magnus Bane.

Magnus cast more healing to help and then sighed. “I’m sorry about your throat. I cannot seem to fix it, but it may correct itself with the way you are healing, at least somewhat. I suppose you have questions.” Alec looked away from his former lover, former boyfriend. “Alec. Look at me. What you did was… beyond stupid. What I did… perhaps just as stupid. I am still angry with you… and you can be angry with me. When you are well, you and I will have an old fashioned lovers quarrel, complete with throwing things and broken dishes.” He grinned and saw the corner of Alec’s mouth twitch up at the silliness of the picture Magnus painted with his word. The warlock was always overly dramatic.

Over the next couple hours, Magnus explained all that had happened to Alec. From the phone call, to how he got to the Institute, to the magic in the bowl and the drinking of vampire blood. So he did drink blood. It was not dream then. Vampiric blood. Albeit, it was mixed with Jace’s angel potent blood and a crazy amount of opposing magics, but still he had drunk vampiric blood. He knew what that meant. He was bound to Simon now forever. He would age more slowly, if at all. And when he died, he would become a vampire. He wanted to be furious that people took away his choice on this matter, never considered that he would rather die than become one of the damned. But then he thought perhaps that was only fair since he had thought, if only fleetingly, of damning Magnus to a shortened life. Ironically, now he would live forever and be able to stay by Magnus’ side except his relationship with the warlock was over. Well, it explained why he could sense Simon’s presence and why he wanted to be close to Simon. And yet, he was amazed. He was amazed at the strategy and ingenuity, the creative thinking. Simon’s influence was all over that. Alec hoped someone had logged the details. That made him feel foolishly administrative and academic for someone who is supposed to be a deadly demon killer.

Magnus assured Alec that he would heal mostly completely. The throat was the only true question. He would have scars where Maureen had bitten him the worst and Simon had to rebite and fast heal them. Alec sipped the proffered water while Magnus explained the new rune Clary created, one that Alec shared with Simon allowing Alec to draw entirely from Simon to heal. He was entirely dependent on Simon’s ability to use blood. Simon must be using up blood fast and need a lot more… often. That was distressing.

“He feeds from Jace daily at the moment,” Magnus went on. When Alec’s expression grew full of concern, he added, “Jace is fine.”

But what about Simon? What about the vegetarian who could not bear the idea of killing a living thing so strongly that he could hardly manage to feed off bottled blood, let alone a living person. Was Simon fine? Was taking in more of Jace’s blood changing him more? What about the emotional/psychological damage to Simon? Over the last couple months, Simon had grown so very introverted. What was this doing to him? Why did he bother to do all this for him? He hadn’t ever really been that nice to Simon. Guilt gnawed at Alec. Why did Simon agree to feed off Jace? When did he get comfortable doing so? Or was he just doing it to save Alec?

When Simon returned, Alec redid the new rune on them both before exhaustion overtook him, leaving Alec with so many unanswered questions.

The room was dark when he opened his eyes next. His body was slightly on its side, supported by a pillow along his back. He felt significantly better than earlier that day. Solid and painless sleep, nourishing fluids via IV, and Simon close by were all contributing factors. His eyes had already adjusted to the dimness, too swiftly. A side effect of the vampiric blood he now had in him, the changes already having taken hold of him. There would be no undoing them now.

He wondered if he would turn into a cruel vampire or end up a Daylighter with morals. It was hard to know. Simon had been turned by Raphael, a near cold and callous vampire, and yet Simon was… Simon. Something altogether different from the very beginning. Simon would never have survived in Raphael’s vampire clan. While Simon was independent and comfortable with himself, he was too submissive, too loyal to his friends, too compassionate, too gentle a soul. Again Alec wondered how much emotional/ psychological damage Simon was suffering for feeding from Jace and when that mattered to him. Was it because of the vampiric blood bond?

And with that he was sharply aware of Simon right there beside him. He took in a slow deep breath, noting how his lungs and chest no longer ached so fiercely. He swallowed once and again, relieved his throat no longer hurt, but it still felt all scarred inside. He touched at the scars on the outside of his throat and on the insides of his wrists. His fingers moved easily for both hands and the broken arm also ached less. He had feeling all the way to his feet, too. He wiggled his toes. His eyes followed the IV line to the bag and then back down to his hand where it felt uncomfortable but tolerable. Then he saw Simon, sitting on the floor with his legs curls close, arms crossed on the edge of the futon and head down. Alec could see the rich brown curls easily. He wondered how long Simon had stayed awake. He wondered what Simon’s normal sleep pattern was. All vampires slept, just like normal people. But this Daylighter could be up in the day whereas other vampires could not. Staying awake outside the comfortable pattern cost a vampire blood.

Alec once trying not to chuckle as he recalled Simon’s monologue about some game that described vampire blood in terms of points that get used up and need replenishing. It was a great analogy. Alec wanted to read the game rule book to see if a Vampire wrote it and if the rest of the information was accurate. He tried to shift position a bit, but his legs still didn’t really obey and the pain reminded him he was not healed yet. Simon slept on, breathing slow and evenly.

Simon breathed. That was not necessary and yet novel. Was it habit or a side effect of drinking angel-potent blood? Alec studied Simon’s face in the secrecy of Simon sleeping. He had always disregarded him as the annoyingly weak and useless non-combative mundane… even as a vampire. Disdain and disregard. He had ignored the Daylighter as a tag-along. And yet now he owed his life twice to him. It was Simon’s bowshot a year ago that saved him from being torn apart by a greater demon. Simon followed Clary about like a sad puppy that would never give up and always be loyal.

His hand hovered over those curls, dark as chocolate. He withdrew his hand and pondered his observations and memories of Simon. Simon was tall, like Jace, just a couple inches over Alec. Though unlike Jace, Simon tended hunch or slouch to never really be taller than those around him, except with Jace. For Jace, Simon stretched and puffed and looked him in the eye. It was all show, mostly for Clary. He didn’t stand a chance against Jace but it never stopped him. And yet, verbally, Simon might be the only one who could be Jace’s equal or better. But the moment Jace would turn away, Simon would deflate again with a mix of relief and disappointment. Simon would never catch the eye like Jace. He would always be the guy tagging along or left behind or left out. Second rate to everything.

Alec frowned. Second rate. How different was Simon from himself? Simon was second to Jace for Clary’s affection. Simon was second to Clary with all her willfulness and courage, and to all other shadowhunters. He seemed perhaps second rate to other mundanes: geeky, academic, not a fighter but a thinker. Then he became a vampire and thus became second to all humanity, rejected even by his own mother. Alec reached over and slowly touched through Simon’s hair still damp from a shower earlier. Now Simon was a Daylighter, a vampire who could go out in the sun and even stand on holy ground. He was outcast by even the vampire clans. It wasn’t that Alec pitied Simon. He felt bad, yes, but more because he sympathized. He understood.

Alec felt second rate to Jace all the time. Who didn’t? Jace was special. He felt second to Clary for Jace’s affection. Simon had turned to Izzy, as he had turned to Magnus, to salve that deep heart wound. Alec often felt second to most shadowhunters. He was 18 and had never killed a demon. He was always backup or covering fire. Not that he really wanted to be in that fight, he didn’t, but this was what shadowhunters were supposed to be. He felt like something was wrong with himself.  Couple that with his forbidden attraction to his parabatai, another guy (making it even more taboo), and he felt even more wrong. Being gay was unacceptable, a sickness, something you hid with shame, at least till a year ago when Alec broke all his strictly adhered to rules and kissed Magnus in the crowded public Hall of Accords before the battle with Valentine. He was still not comfortable with public displays of affection that involved him and his boyfriend (whoever that might be in the future). There too he felt second to the flamboyant, confident, and powerful Magnus Bane who shone everywhere he went. Magnus had lived long and had more experience in both life and sex than Alec, who always felt new and awkward and inexperienced… inadequate.

Aware now of Simon’s place, Alec set aside these thoughts. Simon was actually handsome, if you liked tall and lean, which Alec did. Admittedly, Simon looked much better without his glasses. Simon was smart, able to banter word for word with the best of them, and a great strategist. Dealing with the Angel Raziel for the Sword of Michael and planning the fight with Sebastian was planning Alec knew he could not have thought of. Simon could be brave and strong, too, when he needed to be. He killed the greater demon attaching Alec, and Simon wasn’t even a vampire then, just a normal human with now special abilities. Did Simon even know how amazing he could be? Likely not.

Alec’s fingers sank gently into those dark curls and stroked absently. Those fingers stilled, unable to move away fast enough when his bedroom door opened and Robert Lightwood walked in, catching Alec in this small act of stray affection.


	8. Like Father Like Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A secret revealed by Robert Lightwood.

“D-dad,” came Alec’s rough attempt to speak as he drew his hand guiltily away from Simon.

Robert observed the scene as he closed the door. “I take it he’s asleep or you would never have dared that.” Alec’s cheeks burned. “Good. Vampired are oblivious once they are asleep. Makes it easier to pick them off.”

“Dad… no…” Alec struggled to push himself up in order to futilely defend Somin.

“Easy son. I won’t harm the Daylighter. He has saved now two of my sons… several times, I think.” Robert moved the stool closer to the bed so he could sit. His witchlight illuminated the room. He helped Alec to sit up, propped by pillows. “He’s a good kid and has taken such good care of you. It almost shames me.” This time he petted Simon’s hair as if he would any of his children.

Alec had always looked up to his father and now found it strange, awkward. His father seemed so different since the death of the youngest of the family. Izzy had told Alec of their parents divide and of his father’s mistress in Irdris. When their littlest brother, Max, was killed. Maryse and Robert had split up. The situation of Sebastian and Jace forced Robert off the Counsel and back to the Institute. But now that Jace was home save and his name clear of any dark dealings, what was to become of the marriage, of the Lightwood family?

Robert offered Alec some water and helped him drink. “Try whispering, Alec, till your throat is better.”

The pause that followed lingered uncomfortably and Alec discovered his father and he shared the same mannerisms of awkwardness. “Dad?” whispered Alec. “What’s wrong?”

Robert took a measured breath. “I’m sorry, Alec. I have to return to Idris. I’ll be petitioning for a divorce.”

Divorce. It was almost unheard of for shadowhunters. It meant taking a blade to the marriage marks and scarring yourself forever to break the permanent rune. It was done for great offenses. If anything, Alec thought that Maryse should be the one asking for it since it was Robert cheating on her. It made Alec irrationally angry. “It’s because of that other woman, isn’t it?” His words harsh despite whispering.

“Yes… and no. Alec, its more complicated than that.” Robert tried to take his son’s hand, but Alec pulled it away. So Robert took out his stele and drew a _courage_ rune upon himself before continuing. “Alec-”

“Is she pregnant?” Alec demanded accusingly.

Robert dropped his eyes. “Yes. She’s in labor which is why I have to go. But, it is not… it’s not what you think.”

Alec gave his father a look. How could it possibly be anything other than how it looked?!

“It’s our second child,” confessed Robert.

That made it worse! “Did you ever love Mom?” spat Alec, no longer caring that Simon was there.

“Alec please. Listen. Yes. I have always loved your mother and I always will. But, you don’t understand… and really… you should.” Robert set the cup on the bedside table. “I married your mother because I had no choice. We were best friends. She wanted us to be more. And she got that wish when my father… My father found me out. He gave me no choice and marrying your mother was better than being exiled. No, your mother knows none of this.”

Now Alec was really confused.

“You and I… are more alike than you know.” Robert stared at his fingers as he searched his mind for the right words. “Your mother knows of Alissa.”

“Alissa… with the twin brother, Aaron? And she has… I have… Jace and Izzy and I have siblings?” Alec didn’t understand. If his father loved Alissa, why didn’t he just marry her? Was it something to do with the Circle? No, that came after. He knew his father had disapproved of the Circle from the beginning but was in it because of Maryse. So why not Alissa back then? Alissa was from a strong shadowhunter family. There was no shame in marrying her, but waiting till after Alissa’s husband died to cheat on Maryse? That was shameful. Alec didn’t get it.

“When you come to Idris next, you can meet them. Graham is six now, almost old enough to know the truth of his parentage.” When Alec scowled again at his father, Robert quickly added. “Alissa and I have… an arrangement.”

“I bet.”

“Alec. Your mother knows of Alissa… and the children now. She’s hurt, but the truth would hurt her more.”

Alec ground his teeth and growled in whispers, “So what’s the truth, then, if it is worse than this? You have other lovers? Are you populating all of Idris by yourself?” Alec coughed. “And why tell me and no one else?”

“Because you, of all people, need to know. Yes, I have a lover in Idris. Alissa is not it. She wanted children, but her husband died ten years ago. Giving her children was the price I paid for her silence.” Robert watched his son process this critically and decided that perhaps being blunt would be best. “She is my cover for my relationship with Aaron.”

It took a moment before Alec gasped with the realization that his father was… is… gay. Aaron. Twin brother to Alissa. Aaron! Aaron and his father!

“Do you see why my father forced marriage upon me and why I won’t speak of this to your mother? My father had caught Aaron and I those many years ago. And now, your mother would be devastated to learn this truth.”

Alec nodded almost absently. His father and he both shared this thing, this interest in other men. He never knew. Never suspected. He had felt so alone, like he was sick or that something was wrong with him till Magnus had helped open his eyes. All this time, his father had gone through the very same things. He understood.

“Keep this between us. Your generation is more open and accepting, but not mine… not yet.” He reached for Alec’s hand again and Alec allowed it this time. “I’ll come back and let you know if it’s a girl or boy… and you can visit when you are better. Aaron wants to meet you. He wants to thank you and talk about social reform and same sex marriage rights. Not for us, but for those who come after us.”

Again Alec nodded, but this time his mind was busy planning. “Can you get me the law books? I want to know history of same sex relations in advance of this meeting with Aaron.”

“I’ll bring you what I can, but I no longer hold a high position.” He kissed his son on the head. “I am so proud of you.”  Alec smiled, basking in the rare compliment. “One last thing, son. Just try to think on it. I will never force you to wed and bed a woman, especially if you have no interest in them. But, you might consider making an arrangement as I have. There are too few of us shadowhunters. And with the Mortal Cup destroyed… babies are the only option… lots of babies.”

Alec frowned thoughtfully, “Why not try to make a new Mortal Cup. Sebastian did for his Dark Nephilim.”

“That process is slow and dangerous.”

“Having babies is slow,” Alec countered.

Robert agreed, “Yes, but less risky. Less chance of dying or twisting into an abomination. Ascensions are only 50-50 for survival.”

Alec wondered offhand if Simon would have ever would have considered ascension. He was so mixed up with the shadow world even before he was turned. Even as a non-fighter, Simon was brave enough to fight if he had to. Alec thought that perhaps Simon might have made a good candidate. “Dad? Can you find me anything about Daylighters?”

Robert smiled, “Ypu want to help him understand more about what he is? Sure. I’ll do what I can.” He tried not to think that maybe his son was looking for this information to understand what he might possibly turn into when he dies.

“I can’t think about children right now, Dad. I just… can’t. Magnus and I… broke up and… I…”

“I know.” Robert kissed his son again. “Rest and heal. That’s all you have to think about for now.” He ruffled Simon’s curly hair as he stood. Simon hardly stirred. “Be good to him, Alec, and he will be good to you for all eternity.”

Alec wondered what his father was suggesting, what was not being said, and felt annoyingly dumb. He was tired, though and that was not conducive to puzzling out cryptic logic. Robert helped Alec to lie back down. Once his father was gone, Alec pushed his fingers into Simon’s dark hair till he fell asleep.


	9. Like Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something about Izzy & Clary.

Isabelle stool in the doorway stunned and sucking a knuckle to keep quiet. She shushed Clary, who wondered why Izzy was just blocking the way into Alec’s room. Clary pushed her way past and stopped.

They were going to ask if either Alec was up for some breakfast, but Alec was asleep with his hand in Simon’s hair. It was adorable. Both girls crept away quietly and saved their comments for till they got to the kitchen.

Over breakfast, Clary asked Izzy, “Would you be upset if Simon and Alec got together?” She knew Alec and Magnus were broken up. It was a new state, and they might get back together, but might not. And polyamory was not exactly foreign to her since Simon and Izzy were in a non-exclusive relationship.

Isabell laughed, “No! Haha… I actually think it’s sweet. I can share. It’s only fair if Simon has to share me with other lovers. I’m not exclusive and I don’t expect him to be. However, I didn’t think he was gay or even bi, you know… because he’s with me. I mean, he’s still into you, and he was into Maia, and he and I sleep together and stuff.”

“And stuff.”

Izzy smiled knowingly at Clary. “And stuff. At least now he will feed without totally freaking, at least in private. He was so scared.”

After another bite of breakfast, Clary nodded. “I know. I tried to offer but he just couldn’t do it. He was afraid he would kill me or something. And… I think he might actually be bi.”

“Seriously?” Izzy put down her coffee.

“Ya. He has never really been into girls… before I mean. Well he had, but they were always shallow and short-lived relationships.”

“He was into you.”

Clary rolled her eyes. “I think he would have been into me regardless of if I was a girl or a guy. I don’t think he even notices I have girl parts.”

Izzy almost snorted her next sip of coffee.

“And he boy watched me like a gay pro… and he’s jealous of Magnus’ wardrobe…”

“Oh ya! I noticed that!” Izzy declared. “How is he doing with Jace?”

Clary shrugged uncertainly. “They argue less.” She wasn’t wholly sure how Simon and Jace were since Simon hadn’t left Alec’s side for days. “I think I miss the banter.”

“Have you and Jace…”

Clary gasped, “No!” Then she blushed.

“Uh-hunh,” Isabelle was not convinced. “You should totally create a contraception rune.”

“I did,” whispered Clary as she bit her lip.

Izzy slammed her mug down. “Show me,” she said eagerly.

Clary opened up the sketchbook she carried everywhere with her. “Here. It goes on the guy. On his… you know.”

“Penis,” Izzy supplied. “It isn’t a bad word, Clary. And even if it was…”

“It’s temporary,” Clary continued, ignoring Izzy’s comment. “It will fade after a number of…”

Izzy waited for the word, and waited, then asked, “Ejaculations? Orgasms?”

“I think so?”

Isabelle sighed, “No guy is going to want a stele marking his dick. Well, except maybe Jace.”

“You think?” Clary highly doubted Jace would allow a stele to burn a mark into his delicate man bits. She changed the subject and closed her sketchbook. “Simon looks more… hmmm…”

“Alive. Healthier. Less like an undead vampire. I know. I noticed. He has some color. He was even breathing while he slept.” Izzy had wanted to snuggle him, just for a second. “I think it’s all of the angel blood from Jace.”

Clary finished her breakfast and sipped her tea. “That’s what Jordan told me, too. Jace’s blood made Simon a Daylighter. More of it will liven dormant flesh. Maybe he’ll be able to eat food and drink a bit.”

“Oh… and have sex more easily and maybe with less blood.”

That was a bit too much information for Clary. Then she thought, “Right! All fluids from him are blood. Tears too. So if he cries, it might not be blood now either, just actual tears.”

“He cries?” asked Isabelle, trying not to be too concerned.

“In the bathroom when no one sees him and he thinks no one can hear him.”

Izzy had an idea, “Hey, what would cheer him up? He’s cooped up with my brother. I want to get him something.” She intended to buy her brother a couple books from the used bookstore. She knew he liked classical literature and poetry.

“Movies. Simon likes movies.”

“Star Wars.”

Clary grinned. “We can maybe swing by Simon’s mom’s place and see if his siter Becky can let us into his room. I bet he’d love his laptop and movies and the rest of his gaming books. Will a laptop work in the institute? Or is this place like Irdis?” Clary thought but answered herself. “Oh! It must! Our cell phones work and mine is a smartphone. Simon will be thrilled!”

Jace sauntered in, “What’s for breakfast? I hope Izzy didn’t cook it.”

Izzy stuck her tongue out at him. “Nothing for you, now. Mom made pancakes. We’re taking the last one to Alec. Besides. It’s late. You can tough it out till lunch.” She put her mug and plate in the sink to wash later, as did Clary.

“You’re leaving, too?” Jace hated more than anything having to be confined to the Institute.

“Go find Zachariah and train.” Izzy kissed Jace on the cheek.

Clary kissed him on the lips lightly, “We’ll bring back a consolation gift.”

“A new blade?” Jace grinned.

Both girls rolled their eyes and wandered out with the plate of a jam slathered pancake and a cup of tea for Alec. Alec was not awake, so Jace got the pancake after all. Though, they left the tea for Alec. Jace had no interest in what he called “girly boiled flower water.” Alec would have argued the medicinal properties of chamomile tea with Jace, but the girls couldn’t be bothered.

Clary and Isabelle returns shortly after lunch with food from Taki’s Restaurant. They put Simon’s belongings into Simon’s new room as a surprise for when he went there next. Izzy left a book of poetry by Catullus on Alec’s nightstand. Alec and Simon were both asleep. When the door closed as the girls left, both Alec and Simon started awake.


	10. Respect & Dignity

Alec struggled to sit up. “Si-Simon,” he croaked.

Simon had already gotten up to check who was at the door, but found no one. He looked back. “Whisper, Alec. I can hear a whisper two rooms away and most noises half way down the hall.” At the strange look Alec gave him, he said, “Ya… I hear a lot that I probably shouldn’t and a lot that I really wish I hadn’t… except apparently when I actually sleep. I didn’t think vampires needed to sleep.”

Alec would have answered him the obvious, or what he thought was obvious, but his body screamed with too desperate a need. He forced himself to sit and swing his splinted legs off the bed.

“Woah! Woah! Alec! What the hell…”

“I… bathroom,” he croaked again, gritting his teeth.

“Ok. IV fluids will do that. Just hold a sec so I can detach it,” Simon bounced over to steady Alec then carefully detach the IV tube from the little needle in Alec’s wrist.

The grip Alec had on Simon’s shoulder was almost painful. Simon helped Alec to stand and start to take a few steps to the desperately needed destination. “I… I can’t.” The pain shot up Alec’s legs as he tried to hold his own weight.

Simon could feel the sudden tug in his blood of it being used for healing Alec. When Alec cried out involuntarily, Simon simply used his vampiric strength and scooped Alec into his arms. It was too late. Alec mewed with the deepest humiliation. Simon felt hot dampness soak his hip and pants and drip to the floor through the sheet that was wrapped around the wounded shadowhunter.

Alec wanted to die right there, wanted to fade like smoke in the wind.

“Do you think you are up for a real bath in the tub?” asked the Daylighter as if nothing happened? Alec nodded pitifully, face burying into Simon’s shoulder. Simon marveled at his own vampiric strength as he shifted to one foot. He used the other foot to snag the trailing sheet and scrub the puddle on the floor.

In the bathroom, Alec sat on the edge of the tub, eyes scrunched shut against reality. He hurt. He was wet in all the wrong places. Why did it have to be Simon here? He wished it was his dad, or at least a family member.

“I’m going to change clothes and be right back. Will you be okay sitting there a couple minutes?” asked Simon.

Did Alec really have a choice? He simply nodded. What would Simon have done if he shook his head? Alone for several minutes, he took stock of himself and tried to hold what scraps of his dignity together that he could.

Simon tapped into the celerity he had learned he had to swiftly strip, toss his soiled clothes into the hamper… and stop dead still. His room looked different. His laptop was plugged in and charging on the desk, with piles of his DVD movies and some books cluttering the surface. Bags of books lay on the floor. Someone had haphazardly shoved a smattering of history and literature books from school onto his shelf, as well as some of his gaming books. His D&D map mat, rolled and held with elastic bands, had been tossed on the bed with more bags and piles of his clothes… all from his mom’s house. He covered his mouth to quiet the whimper that tried to escape. Then he dressed in the comfortable jeans and a t-shirt with the Firefly logo that said, “you can’t take the skies from me!” When he found his favorite sweater complete with a patch of cat fur (from his cat sleeping on it), he could not smother that whimper in time. He buried his face in the sweater, inhaling the smells of home.

“Simon?” Alec whispered his call and leaned a little to try to see the vampire through the opened door. What he saw was Simon crying into a sweater and he didn’t understand why. “Simon?”

“I’ll be right there.” Vampire tears were usually blood, so Simon needed a second to compose and check… but the sweater had only dampness. He set the sweater down and wiped his face with his fingers before walking back to the bathroom.

Alec watched the Daylighter shake out a towel and lay it on the bottom of the tub. “To cushion you,” Simon explained. After removing the bandages and splints, it was time to remove the soiled sheet. Alec found himself burning with humiliation once again and refused to meet Simon’s eyes. “It’ll be over soon. Here,” he handed Alec a cloth to cover his privates with and lifted him into the tub.

“Alec? You feel up to eating real food and stuff? I can take out the IV needle” Simon found a hand thrust in his general direction. He took it, pressing his thumb down and pulling the needle free, tossing it into the trash can. The tiny wound healed instantly. “Wash as much of yourself as you can and call me when you’re done. I think Clary brought my books and clothes over. I’m going to tidy my room while you bathe.”

Alec was immeasurably grateful for the privacy. Simon even took away the offending sheet and closed the door over, but not completely. Every minute alone in the bath washing without aid helped his wounded pride and encouraged his independence. He found he didn’t need any help, even managed to wash his jair. The growth of stubble annoyed him, but he did not yet have the strength to stand to get his shaving supplies. Finally he resigned himself to calling the vampire. Simon helped him out to sit on a towel draped over the toilet, which Alec wrapped around his waist for modesty.

“I need to shave,” stated Alec.

“Ya, you do,” Simon confirmed.

Provided now with his shaving gear, Alec found his hands shaking.

“Let me,” offered Simon. “I know. I have never shaved myself before and now that I am a vampire, I never will. I feel a bit unmanned by being robbed of the experience. But don’t worry. I’ve done this before, for my dad.” At Alec’s quizzical look, Simon clarified, “Oh right. It wasn’t you I told this to. My father was sick with cancer and chose to be cared for at him. The hospital sent people over to teach us how to do everything. I was 13 and shaved my dad every day for a year.”

“I never hear about your father, just a bit about your mother and that you have a sister.” Alec lifted and tilted his head cautiously allowing Simon access.

“The cancer took him three years ago. We cared for him at home till he passed.” Simon paused quietly then continued shaving Alec.

Alec frowned, feeling guilty for all the times he was insensitive to Simon. He knew how it felt to lose a family member, having lost his little brother to Sebastien. He didn’t want to think about how it would feel to lose his own dad. Now he understood how and why Simon took such good care of him. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he whispered.

Simon paused again. He knew how shadowhunters didn’t say sorry unless it was for some legitimate wrong they committed. Maybe they were learning from Clary. He wondered for a moment about Alec’s sincerity. Alec was always serious, too serious. “Thanks. I miss him a lot.”

Alec was genuinely impressed as he checked for any stubble missed and found none. Simon would never know the amount of trust Alec placed in him to allow Simon to put a blade to his throat repeatedly. Simon fetched clothes for Alec while the shadowhunter took advantage of the moment to comb his hair and brush his teeth.

By the angels! Alec felt so much better. Clean. Dressed. Human. Not splinted six to a dozen ways. His throat was still rough, but whispering served him well enough. Now he sat on the lounge sofa by the window sipping cold chamomile tea while Simon changed the bedding.

“Oh hey! You have a new book. The girls must have gotten it for you when they got my stuff.” Simon opened it and read a random passage slowly and stumblingly. It was a foreign language. Simon thought maybe Latin.

Alec sputtered his tea, “Stop.”

“Was I butchering the pronunciation that badly?”

“No. But it is erotic poetry by Catullus and you might not mean what you are saying to me.” It was amazing how much a vampire could actually blush in shock. Alec hid his amusement in his mug as Simon pointedly put the book down again on the bedside table.

“Daylighter,” Alec called quietly, knowing it annoyed Simon. He didn’t expect the two-send hurt expression briskly covered by a sarcastic scowl. “Simon,” he amended, “If you want to read out loud, why not get that vampire game rule book about blood points and read that?”

“You remember? You heard me?” Joy lit the vampire’s face with life that evoked warmth inside Alec.

“Yes, I heard you… sometimes.”

Simon dashed through the shared bathroom to retrieve the book. The afternoon was spent reading and debating everything in the first chapter.

Simon’s happiness was contagious. That was the first unexpected discovery. The second came belatedly as he realized how well Simon handled the earlier embarrassing incident like a pro and moved on without making a big deal of it and without pampering Alec or treating him like an invalid. Everything Simon did was enabling or encouraging Alec to do it himself till he could. Simon was so sure of Alec’s recovery that there was no room to worry about it. Of course he would be on his feet soon and training and then even back hunting demons with Jace.

Simon took a chance to leave Alec alone, returning with dinner for him and people. Family all crowded into Alec’s room to share supper and see how he was doing. This too worked wonders for Alec’s progress, but also exhausted him.

In the quiet of the night, Simon experimented with how far he could get before he stopped feeling the tug in his blood for healing. He couldn’t quite get to his bedroom, but learned he could leave Alec if it wasn’t for too long. He surmised that Alec might be able to stand and walk some on his own tomorrow and may be ready to get back into training by the end of the week, or sooner.

It wasn’t till mid next morning that Simon realized he hadn’t had blood from Jace yesterday. He was getting close to needing some now though. After lunch, Izzy came to visit with Alec for the afternoon and get him caught up on news… and gossip.

Meanwhile, Simon went to visit Clary and thank her for his stuff. His mom still wasn’t ready to see him, but his sister assured him it might be soon. That made him nervous. He was afraid of how she would react, if she would react like last time. Clary hugged Simon to comfort him, and then she walked him to Jace’s room. “You’re extra jittery. I know you need blood.”

“Ya, I texted Jace already. Thanks Clary.” He hugged his best friend again then knocked on Jace’s door.


	11. No Dignity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace X Simon moment... but it is all wrong...

“Are you getting used to this, yet, Vamp?” Jace asked as he tugged off his shirt to preserve it from any potential blood staining. He gestured for Simon to come closer.

Simon quirmed uncomfortably in the doorway. The hunger for blood warred with a number of other discomforts. Jace half-naked and looking better than Simon ever thought himself to ever look, Simon’s revulsion to drinking blood especially from another person (even though he put on a brave face about it), Simon’s dread of what might happen between them because of the feeding, and Simon’s worry that he might hurt Jace. He closed the door and took a couple hesitant steps into the room.

Imatient with the waffling, Jace grabbed the front of Simon’s shirt and yanked him forward.

Simon had to grab Jace’s shoulders for balance. “Actually… I… I think I can…” Simon stammered. The word ‘wait’ dried in his throat as Jace exposed his neck better and Simon could sense the blood pulsing through the softly throbbing jugular. His fangs pricked his lower lip as they extended.

“I know you want it. Go ahead. You need it.” Why did Jace have to always sound like he was purring when he spoke in a low voice?

Simon almost latched on but restrained himself, only long enough to relax and surrender. The tension in him melted and he leaned forward, lips to throat, then fangs to vein.

“Mmmm… good. You are getting better at this.” Most people succumbed to the euphoria of a vampire’s bite. But the strength of angelic blood in Jace only made the experience pleasant, not something he would be lost to, unless he chose to be. And that was sometimes tempting. He gave in a little, words slurring near the end.

Simon leaned more into the warmth, hot skin against his palms, hot blood coating his tongue and throat. It warmed him inside, filled him with vibrant life. Jace pulled him closer, or did he step in closer? Did it matter? Strong arms help him firm. A small stagger and Jace bumped the edge of his bed. He pulled Simon down with him. Limbs entwined. A low chuckle made the blood bubble with a fun sort of spice. Simon pressed in, drank deeper. They grew warm together.

Jace itched for friction, movement. His shifted with Simon over him. By the angels, Jace wanted, excited by the situation, curious. His hands tugged Simon’s shirt free and hugged at Simon’s lower back. They were both hard. Jace moved first. Jace always moved first.

Simon released Jace’s throat a moment to gasp at the buzz and sensation in his groin. Somewhere in his mind, Simon screamed for this to stop. But he surrendered his will already to the feeding.

Jace pulled Simon back to bite. “Finish what you started.” It felt too good to stop now. Fangs sank back in. Blood escaped and dripped a trail down to the bed. Jace guided the movements to meet his own hunger, to sate the want between his legs. His breath huffed in Simon’s ear. His blood pulsed fast and strong.

The blood tasted instantly sweet and spicy, pulsing into Simon’s mouth without needed to even suck. The rushes of blood coming with each rub and thrust, so intoxicating, so wrong, so wanted.

Jace rolled Simon over. They rutted together a few minutes more. Then Jace tensed, letting out a low moan. “St-stop.”

Simon froze on command. Reality fragmented into sensations and flavors. He wanted more. He withdrew his fangs obediently and licked the wound closed. The lingering sting in his lower back only just now becoming noticeable.

Jace backed off. “There’s blood on my sheet. Damn. Next time, we do this in your room.” He helped Simon to his feet and urged him to the door.

Simon wiped blood from the corner of his mouth with a shaking hand as he looked back at Jace, whose heartbeat still raced. Fragments of reality coalesced. Simon fled the room.

Jace rolled his eyes. “By the angels. You’d think he never wanked in his life or got hard. I know I’m hot enough to make anyone gay. It’s no big deal.” He shrugged bored with the fact and wandered into his bathroom to finish himself off. “It’s just the euphoria of feeding anyways. Not like it means anything.” Not that Simon was there to hear him, either.

Simon’s bedroom door slammed open and shut. He stifled the strangled noise of distress in his throat and forced himself to be as steady as he could. He felt freaked and unclean. He threw himself into the shower. Would Jace kill him later? Did he manipulate Jace? Clary would hate him. Isabelle would be angry. The water muffled his anxiety driven tears of confusion. Why was this happening? Was he maybe a closet gay subconsciously? He wasn’t against gays or anything, just… didn’t see himself as one. And Jace was hot. OH GOD! Was feeding just tied with sex when it wasn’t tied with killing? Simon wanted to ask someone, but who? Most vampires wanted nothing to do with the Daylighter, wishing him dead dead.

“Simon?” Alec’s rough whisper was heard from Alec’s room. Alec started to grow accustomed to the naturally heightened senses. It was not unlike having a rune for that talent. He didn’t quite like what he heard. The slamming of doors. The quiet sobs that the shower could not hide well enough from his new hearing. What bothered him more was this nagging inside him that something was wrong, that Simon was upset, really upset. He felt strongly pulled to protect Simon, but from what? Alec managed to stagger to the bathroom door. “Simon?” He knocked.

Simon drew his hands away from his face. “I’m in the shower. I’ll be out soon.” He hoped his voice didn’t shake too much. He told himself that this was necessary, that he was doing something good. A vampire who healed was better than a vampire that killed. His anxiety and the weird sexual aspect of feeding without killing was just the price to pay. He rationalized it like that. How else could he rationalize it?

Alec did not buy that tine at all and scowled at the door. He wasn’t going to just open it, though. Simon was naked and showering. “You said you could still hear me if I whispered,” Alec spoke softly. “What happened? Are you ok?”

Simon could not fathom why Alec would ask. “I’m fine,” He lied. “I’m fine. I fed from Jace. I’ll be back in there in a few minutes so you can keep healing.” That was the primary reason for tossing his dignity out the window. Maybe Jace will say nothing to anyone. Then no one need know. The burns on his lower back from Jace’s hands would fade, or so he hoped. He was a vampire. They would heal. “I just… got some blood on me and freaked out.” He added quickly, “Jace is fine.”


	12. Small Discoveries

It took Simon the better part of fifteen minutes to compose himself, letting the shower water run through his curly hair and down his face. It washed away all the stress as he continued to think through his experience. Ok, it didn’t wash away ALL the distress. He just grappled with logic and his vampiric state. He hadn’t felt any high emotions in such a long time since he became a vampire. So many emotions were based off chemical reaction. His emotional responses normally had to be deep rooted, mental reactions, sometimes “gut” reactions, things firm in his heart. But maybe being a Daylighter allowed him more emotional involvement? Maybe drinking so much angel blood was changing him as Jordan said. He didn’t need to breathe either, but he often maintained the routine without even thinking of it. He sighed, turned around and let the water run down his back. The stinking was sharp again and he tisked. Jace burned him and clearly, it was not going to instantly heal.

Simon thought about Alec at the door and Jace… and Isabelle. He could sense Alec a little bit. He could sense Isabelle more. She was training in one of the training rooms downstairs. He wished he could sit with a good sci-fi book, reading and watching her train. Jace, he could sense most clearly and wished he could not. He knew precisely where the prat was. In the shower, jacking off, amused with the situation, but not with any malice. He also could sense the lingering worry Jace had for Alec. And Jace’s resolve to do whatever he had to in order for Alec to heal and that he wasn’t remotely attracted to Simon.

Simon stepped from the shower, dried and dressed. “Alec, I’ll be out in a minute.” He could still sense Alec leaning outside the bathroom door. He opened and Alec nearly fell. “Woah!” Simon caught him. ‘Well look at you! You walked… and fell. I have you. Can’t walk back?”

Alec’s expression faded from concern, then flipped to frustration and reddened into embarrassment as he shook his head, dark eyebrows wrinkling together.

“You know, if you keep scowling like that, your face will get stuck that way.” Simon joked as he helped Alec to the little sofa lounge thing where Alec pointed.

The rest of the day and evening passed relatively uneventfully. Although now Alec was fully awake to listen to Simon talking. When the chatter silenced into a broad grin, Alec worried. It was the most plotting grin he had ever seen on Simon’s face.

Simon left the room briefly to retrieve something from his own. “Time to mundanify you with movies and the internet!” he cheered. Alec once again thought Simon a crazy mundane spouting nonsense.

Simon set up his laptop with Star Wars to play on top of a stool. They watched it together, joined by the others, all piled on Alec’s bed. It was invasive and Alec would have thrown them all out, but it was at the same time comforting to have them all there.

After dinner, when it was just the two of them again, Simon taught Alec how to use the laptop and then showed him the wonders of the internet. Simon even showed him FaceBook and got him registered on it.

“Magnus is on FaceBook,” Alec whispered, stunned. He stared with a mix of curiosity and guilt for looking.

“Ya! I know. He posts fashion stuff. Clary is there too. You should friend them.”

Alec scowled at the screen. “There is a… thing.”

Simon looked over and clicked the flashing pop-up, accepting the request. “I’m gonna nap… uh… hmmm…” He wondered where.

“The bed is big enough.” Alec gestured to his left. He wasn’t tired yet, too enraptured by the laptop and the pop-up that showed Magnus’ bedroom. Simon stretched out close to the edge of the bed and was remarkably sound asleep in seconds. 1-9am seeped to be his natural sleep cycle. Alec made mental note.

Magnus’s face came into view with an unsteady grin. “You surprise me, Alexander. FaceBook… and video chat? It this Samwell’s idea?”

Alec stared. He could see and hear Magnus on the screen. “I… uh… Simon. Yes, Simon introduced me. I am using his laptop. He said the internet is wifi from some restaurant nearby and might… drop soon.” Not that any of that made sense to Alec.

“He’s in your bed now?”

Alec glanced to his left then back. “You can see me?”

“Yes, I can see you. The Daylighter shares your bed now?” Magnus repeated his question.

“Are you suddenly jealous? You broke up with me. What does it matter who’s in my bed?” Alec did not mean for it to come out so harshly, but he was still hurt emotionally by their break-up.

“I am not having our lover’s spat over the internet. I am on my way over.” The little pop-up winked out.


	13. Lovers' Spat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter 13... New chapter 1 (first revision) too.

Alec stared at the now blank screen not sure what to do. He missed Magnus. Missed him terribly. But he was also angry, like a boiling lava pool in his belly, over their breakup. Camille had played them both and ruined their trust in each other. Magnus had wanted him and he didn’t listen. Alec covered his eyes with his hand. Magnus was right. Alec never really did trust Magnus. He always felt… inferior, inadequate, second rate. Isn’t that how Simon felt all the time too, watching Clary and Jace?

Alec glanced over at the sleeping vampire, oblivious to the world at the moment. He reached out and rested his hand on Simon’s shoulder. Cool. Still. Breathing in slow sleep even though it was not necessary. Alec’s thoughts and feelings about Simon right now were a jumbled uncertain mess he was not prepared to face just yet. Why **had** he invited him to sleep in his bed? Alec huffed in silent loss.

How long till Magnus showed up? At this hour, would someone let him into the Institute? He didn’t really want to have a fight, especially with Simon there, even if the Daylighter would not hear a thing in this sleep state. Maybe Magnus would not come.

The door opened without even a knock. He glared at the intruder. Isabelle raised an eyebrow at her brother, especially with her Simon in his bed. Could the night get any worse? “I like this development,” she said with mild amusement, earning her an even harder glare. “But this might be awkward for your guest. Magnus is here.”

Magnus gently pushed his way past her, “I know the Daylighter is sleeping with him.”

Alec wanted to protest that. Simon was not “sleeping with him” per se. He was just asleep in his bed. Hell… there was no way around this well.

Isabelle gave Alec a sympathetic look but left and closed the door.

Magnus did not seem angry. That part worried Alec most. When you can’t see the anger, it must be so swift and terrible. “You are right Alec. I broke up with you and it is not my business who you sleep with now.”

Disarmed, Alec looked away, collecting his thoughts. “Why… why could we not work this out?”

“Because, as I said, you did not trust me. And you considered shortening my life. Considered it, even if you would never have gone through with it, you thought about it. That… hurt. Why, Alec? Why even consider it?”

Alec dropped his eyes to his hands, gut twisting with the pain that was fresh from their breakup, full of guilt and shame and … and what? “I will… I would have… never… you…”

Magnus pulled up a stool and sat to wait patiently. He knew Alec well enough to know that articulating feelings was hard for this quiet introvert. “Did I do something to you?

“No!” Alec’s blue eyes shone with emotions. “No… You’ll just live forever and I’ll never be good enough or live long enough or do well enough. I’ll never be so amazing as everyone else and I will end up getting old and ugly and you will cast me aside for someone younger and prettier. I will never be good enough. I never am” His chested heaved with tension and these things he never said aloud to anyone.

Magnus looked surprised. “Oh Alexander, you have no idea. I would love you anyhow, till the very end of your last wrinkled breath without remotely considering anyone else. That is who I am if you gave me the chance and let me in. I just needed time to open up to you like you need time to open up to me. And … oh Alec… Alec…”

Simon rolled over and put a hand on Alec’s almost startling him. “You are amazing,” mumbled Simon sleepily. “Now please calm down so I can sleep. You are shaking my insides.” The vampire then drifted back to sleep.

Magnus chuckled. “That is exactly what I wanted to say. You are amazing Alexander. But maybe I am not the one to show it to you. We have hurt each other, I think. For that I am so very sorry. Let us heal for a while first and revisit where we stand after.” He stood to leave.

Alec reached out for him. Magnus came close and hugged him, “You frightened me half to death and I could not save you. Please do not throw yourself away again. You are important to me still. I still love you.” Magnus would have left then, but Alec would not let him go, so he sat on the edge of the bed and held him. This was a little like the lovers spat Magnus had expected, but at the same time, so very not. Maybe if he had not been so afraid of being judged by the amazing shadowhunter, and just answered some of Alec’s many unending questions about his past, then maybe they would never have ended up like this. Alec would never have ended up like this.

Make-up sex would be a perfect end to this evening’s raw opening of emotions. Yes, make-up sex would be perfect… except… Alec was still full of broken mending bones and the vampire was right there. Not that that was necessarily a problem. In fact, how intriguing? Magnus had this fleeting thought of if he and Alec could have sex without the vampire noticing, or maybe if the vampire joined in. Oh! That was a terribly wonderful wrong thought he filed away for another day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all and glad you are all readying this fic since no one seems to ship Alec and Simon but me.


	14. Carpe Diem

A few days had passed and Alec seemed to be mending well bound to Simon as he was through the modified alliance rune. He could still only speak in a hoarse whisper when he tried to speak loudly. He allowed Simon to pile gaming books on the bedside table. It was so Simon would not have to go back and forth to the other room so much. And when Simon slept, Alec quietly devoured the new knowledge and compared it to reality and the texts he knew by heart from the library. He would never admit to Simon how he found them fascinating, even… fun. Fun… that was a word he had not considered since Max’s death.

Simon had sheepishly returned from feeding from Jace, a blush in his cheeks and hunched shoulders. He slipped into the bathroom and closed the door, shutting Alec out. The Silent Brother present in the room ignored the daylighter’s passage as he was focused on checking the progress of Alec’s healing. _‘You are mending better that expected. The Daylighter’s idea was a very good one.’_

Alec wanted to snap back that the downside is that when he does finally die, he will likely become a vampire and who knows what kind. The Brother heard the thoughts anyhow, _‘It is actually not very likely. You did not intake straight vampire blood but a magical concoction that required the blood of a Daylighter specifically. Do you know how a Daylighter is made?’_ At the shake of Alec’s head the Brother explains, _‘Theoretically of course for we have not many Daylighters in all of history to confirm this. But a Vampire with a Pure Heart, one honored already by the Angels and who take in the blood of an Angel instead of human blood, and that Angel has to be willing to give it and the Vampire restrained enough not to kill, then you end up with a Daylighter. It leave us to wonder much about Simon.’_

Indeed, it left much to wonder about him. Alec watched the bathroom door that remained closed. He had the distinct feeling that something was bothering Simon and he was too humiliated to talk about it. Well, staring was not going to magically open the door, nor make Simon come out to share whatever agitated his soul. Soul. Vampires still had souls. He reminded himself that Vampirism was a demonic disease that bound the soul to the undead body.

_‘Alec, I am not rebandaging you as before. I think you might be ready to try a few steps walking on your own. Take it slow and careful. Send for me if it hurts too badly.’_

“Yes, thank you Brother Zachariah. How is Jace? Is he getting better control of the Heavenly Fire?” Alec darted a look back at Simon wondering now if he was ok and wondering still what might be happening to him as he repeatedly drink Jace’s extra potent angelic blood. He is certain that it was Jace’s blood that changed Simon the vampire into Simon the Daylighter. What will more do? He did not ask and the Brother did not answer. There might not be an answer. This might be a first in all of history. Something protective twisted in his gut. Something for Simon. He rubbed his parabatai mark. Jace was so difficult to sense. He could almost sense Simon more than his own parabatai.

The Silent Brother left the room. He left Alec alone with his busy thoughts. Thoughts that included the mess with Magnus and where he should go from there with that. They were well and truly broken, but there were still feelings. Not only his body needed healing, but also Alec’s heart. His fingers ghosted over Simon’s laptop, considering checking Magnus’ facebook page for updates. He wasn’t stalking, just… lurking, thinking. However, Simon came into the room with his usual cheery smile, but none of the usual wit. It reinforced that something was wrong.

“I don’t like people lying to me, so stop doing it,” rasped Alec.

Simons smile evaporated.

“What’s wrong?”

Simon shrugged with one shoulder, “Nothing. Nothing I cannot deal with. Not like you are a vampire to know anything, well to know what I am going through.” He shakes the soft brown curls from his eyes and gave a small smile, one of encouragement as he redirected the conversation. “So, I see you have less bandages and such. You feel stronger. Ready to actually take your first steps?” he came to the bed and held out a hand. “Carpe Diem.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. Simon can feel him? He almost asked that until Simon’s last words. “I thought you didn’t know Latin.”

“Oh come on… Dead Poet’s Society? Robin Williams?”

“You were in a society of dead poets before you became a vampire?” Alec seemed aghast.

Simon buried his hand in his face with a grown of why does he bother!


	15. Between the Sheets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... it has been a while. Life has had me in its jaws and was not letting me go: birthed a baby, nearly died in hospital later, struggling with master's degree university, now raising a toddler. There is very little time. But when I do find that time and some inspiration... a chapter manifests!

Another week passed as Alec struggled thru his healing. He took more steps every day, leaning on Simon. He was sure now that he could sense Simon’s emotions. They were always in turmoil these days despite the Daylighter’s excellently cheery façade. He could sense changes but could not tell how Simon was changing. It was almost like having a second parabatai.

Worried… not that he would ever really admit that he was worried about the Daylighter… he called Magnus. “Simon is out. You and I need to talk,” he rasped.

“I missed you, too, Alexander. Shall I bring some tea?” came the voice through the phone.

Alec shrugged, not that the warlock would see that, it was just Alec’s own awkwardness while he was too vulnerable to focus on stoicism.

“I take your silence to mean a shrug and a yes. I will be there in about 15 minutes. How long do you think we have?”

Alec held the phone away from his ear and glared at it with shock, then shook his head. No, of course Magnus was not thinking of sex… was he? The awkward stir in Alec’s gut and heat that rolled down to between his legs was very frustrating. “Enough time for a talk.” He hung up before there could be an answer.

15 minutes… can he get rid of the sudden unwarranted erection before then? He slammed the phone down on the side table and glared under the sheets at his state. “Seriously? There was nothing worthy of that! I am not 12 years old.” He thudded his head back with a groan. Why? WHY?! Why was he feeling this? Then it dawned on him. Oh…. Maybe Simon had an erection? Was Simon with Jace? Feeding? What the hell was going on for feeding to be like that? And with Jace? Or was he with Izzy? ARGH! Either way and for whatever the reason… this was utterly humiliating. It did pass, however, and Alec decided it was that he did miss Magnus and the ideas of sex between them caused the arousal. He firmly reminded himself that there was nothing between them now.

The door to his room opened after a soft knock. “I brought your favorite tea, Alec” Magnus stepped in with a tray following him, hovering in the air with magic. The tray settles on the desk and Magnus mostly focused on preparing the teas. His feline eyes slid to peak at Alec between the sheets of the bed. A mix of interest and deep guilt battled in his stomach. He brought over the tea, “You wanted to talk?” He sat in the chair that Simon often used and handed over the tea.

Alec sat up, still sore from this morning’s exercises and no longer strong enough to get out of bed again today. “I never asked before, but… what do you know about Daylighters? Those that drink regularly from angel potent blood. And what exactly did you all do to me? And what is going to happen to me? And what will happen to Simon? And yes… I asked the Brothers some of this already.”

Magnus smiled, “But you still trust me and want my opinion.” He was pleased, charmed really.

“You sometimes know things they don’t.”

Alec always was more pragmatic than anything or anyone, sighed Magnus to himself. “Honestly, I am not entirely sure. “Angel blood made Simon a Daylighter. Drinking more of it will make that more potent, bring him very close to human but not cured. And the effects will likely fade some when he stops drinking from Jace. But there might be an addiction quality as well. Understand, this is just theory and guessing. What we did was save your life. Daylighter blood has potent healing properties, especially under certain conditions. The White Book detailed those conditions.”

“But what is the price? The consequences?”

Magnus took in a long slow breath. “You can sense him then?”

“Yes,” Alec murmured under his breath.

“You will live longer, grow old slower, likely, theoretically. You will have some of his abilities through the modified Alliance rune. The healing for example. That it somehow has bound you to like…”

Alec frowned, “Like parabatai?”

“Close to that, yes. That was partially unexpected and not. That is a result of you taking in his blood. However, that should have faded by now unless it is sustained by the Alliance rune, or coming through Jace’s blood.”

Alec traced a finger over the fading rune on his arm. He nodded with understanding. These theories made some sense.

“You are likely stable enough now to no longer need his help and can heal on your own at your own pace.” That meant a slow pace that Magnus knew Alec would not want. Already he could see Alec was fed up with being bedridden and useless. “Unless you want to keep tabs on him.”

Keep tabs on him…. Alec almost asked how to make that permanent, but didn’t.

Magnus put a hand over Alec’s as he watched the shadowhunter frown in thought. “Alec…”

“No.”

The warlock withdrew his hand. He knew that broken trust is slow to mend, slower for Alec who does nothing impulsively. He changed the subject, “How is my cat?”

“Misses you. But he has grown rather attached to things and people here, who are regularly here. I think he is growing fond of Simon. The Daylighter is gentle and gives him lots of attention and care.”

Was Alec talking about the cat or himself, wondered Magnus. It didn’t much matter. Their own relationship was well and truly broken and would have to be built up to a friendship before it could be possibly anything more.

That same can plopped from between Alec’s sheets to the close to visit Magnus. Indignantly, he declared in regards to the cat, “Apparently they are both sharing your bed now! Traitorous cat.” However, his fingers scrunched and rubbed through the fur. “I will leave you with the tea, Alec. I hope we can do this again, under better circumstances.”

Alec watched the warlock leave, longing causing a deep ache in his chest and a hard lump in his throat.

Simon lifted his head suddenly. Izzy mumbled something against his neck. “I need to go. Alec needs me. He’s ok… just… needs me right now.” He wriggled inelegantly from under Izzy’s sheets and hurriedly pulled on some clothes. The smell of their intimacy still in his nose. This helped him deal with the whatever was going on between he and Jace. And yet, as much as he loved Izzy and certainly enjoyed this rare experience with her, Alec was always in the back of his mind these days. No matter which sheets he lay between.


End file.
